All Alone

Without you why should I live..

Without you how should I live..

 

The nights are longer than ever..

The days are longer than ever..

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

Again in the evening i am alone

again I am remembering you

again my heart is stopping

again you are giving me pain

 

In this heart I got lot of memories of you

Without you I am all alone..

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

so many things I have thought

so many dreams I have made

so many things my heart wants

so many desires I have made

 

through my heart a lot of disasters occur

Without you I can't live or even die

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

Without you why should I live..

Without you how should I live..

 

The nights are longer than ever..

The days are longer than ever..

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

I like the three two-line stanzas that are repeated in the beginning and the end of the poem, starting it out and bringing it back to that original idea. Again, I bring up the three symbolism of doom and the two symbolism of duality, both of which again seemed to work, though not quite as well as in the last poem I read of yours.

"through my heart lot of disasters occur" I think you meant "through my heart a lot of disasters occur" This is an interesting line, very powerful and destructive, which goes with the rest of the poem. You're quite good at coming up with unique metaphors like this.

"Without you I can't live or even die" I like this idea, that the speaker is stuck in place without the ability to control any aspect of his/her life. Without the person the speaker is thinking of, he/she is stuck in time. A very interesting line.

Overall, a powerful, emotional poem. Good job.

[Cynthia]

I love the use of the repetition, it makes it really great! It had added strong feeling to the poem, its very powerful :)
Easy to be relate to as well,
nice written

[Akshat♥]

please give reviews...

[kelly]

This needs some work. The repitition is excellent, but try to make it a bit more vivid with imagery. I notice that you are from New Delhi and there is such a rich tradition of description in the classics of Hindu literature. I know that my imagination is always sparked by the incarnations of the gods and their exploits.

[Alvin L. Kathembe]

great use of repetition, made me feel along with you...great write!

[Rossen]

when you feel like this you become a little i
great write,
Rossen

[Dream Weaver]

A sadly profound piece, to be alone is to be invisable.

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Good efforts..!!!