All Alone

Without you why should I live..

Without you how should I live..

 

The nights are longer than ever..

The days are longer than ever..

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

Again in the evening i am alone

again I am remembering you

again my heart is stopping

again you are giving me pain

 

In this heart I got lot of memories of you

Without you I am all alone..

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

so many things I have thought

so many dreams I have made

so many things my heart wants

so many desires I have made

 

through my heart a lot of disasters occur

Without you I can't live or even die

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

Without you why should I live..

Without you how should I live..

 

The nights are longer than ever..

The days are longer than ever..

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

I like the three two-line stanzas that are repeated in the beginning and the end of the poem, starting it out and bringing it back to that original idea. Again, I bring up the three symbolism of doom and the two symbolism of duality, both of which again seemed to work, though not quite as well as in the last poem I read of yours.

"through my heart lot of disasters occur" I think you meant "through my heart a lot of disasters occur" This is an interesting line, very powerful and destructive, which goes with the rest of the poem. You're quite good at coming up with unique metaphors like this.

"Without you I can't live or even die" I like this idea, that the speaker is stuck in place without the ability to control any aspect of his/her life. Without the person the speaker is thinking of, he/she is stuck in time. A very interesting line.

Overall, a powerful, emotional poem. Good job.

[Dark Empress]

beautiful poem, i love it :)

[Short.Nerd]

Great job! I love it :D

[hannajade]

once again--good poem! I suggest you make your 'i's capitals though, it would give it more of a published feel, great the way it is though!

[Brad]

"and darlin'....here is mahhh hearrrrrt..."

[Siddhartha]

I like this one...the intensity's powerful...The traditional rhyming structure's good, though it maybe needs a bit more polish but it's nothing that can't be fixed...Well done!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

A excellent poem. We need those special people to stay with us to make us content in our life. I like the emotion and the very good ending to the poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[~~Mere~d~i~t--h~~]

you just made pain, and heartache beautiful. Well done and well written

[Blossom]

its really sad. you can feel the yearning and the longing in this. beautiful piece.

[Linear]

The grammar is good, the poem is good, it drifted a little at the end the grammar that is not the poem, good emotional writing

[HopelesslyDevoted]

beautiful expression odf feelings... so honest, i love it.