All Alone

Without you why should I live..

Without you how should I live..

 

The nights are longer than ever..

The days are longer than ever..

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

Again in the evening i am alone

again I am remembering you

again my heart is stopping

again you are giving me pain

 

In this heart I got lot of memories of you

Without you I am all alone..

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

so many things I have thought

so many dreams I have made

so many things my heart wants

so many desires I have made

 

through my heart a lot of disasters occur

Without you I can't live or even die

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

Without you why should I live..

Without you how should I live..

 

The nights are longer than ever..

The days are longer than ever..

 

please come to me

my heart is saying to you

 

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

I like the three two-line stanzas that are repeated in the beginning and the end of the poem, starting it out and bringing it back to that original idea. Again, I bring up the three symbolism of doom and the two symbolism of duality, both of which again seemed to work, though not quite as well as in the last poem I read of yours.

"through my heart lot of disasters occur" I think you meant "through my heart a lot of disasters occur" This is an interesting line, very powerful and destructive, which goes with the rest of the poem. You're quite good at coming up with unique metaphors like this.

"Without you I can't live or even die" I like this idea, that the speaker is stuck in place without the ability to control any aspect of his/her life. Without the person the speaker is thinking of, he/she is stuck in time. A very interesting line.

Overall, a powerful, emotional poem. Good job.

[Richard Williams]

The emotion come across vividly, good write.

[JLEE5879]

Beautiful! It's so sad to be in a room full of people and still feel completely alone. I know this well. Good writing.

[Karli]

this could be a pretty good song, truthfully. I really liked it, because I know exactly how it feels to be alone, and so do most teenagers. This is good to relate to. Good job:)

[DalainaRenee]

It is hard when you miss someone and they dont seem to miss you at all. Then all they leave you with are their memories. This poem express this well

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Very clear emotion. I know your meaning. Wonderful poem.

[abhas]

full of emotions.. great...

[Bard Constantine]

Emotions absolutely quiver with every line of this poem. Powerful...

[Dushyant Thadani]

I felt that I could associate well with this poem. It was very sad and emotional and true to a lover's perspective. Great job.

[RJM]

Good write, what a depressing feeling loneliness is

Not my favorite rhythm and rhyme form but I am sure if music is added this one can be sung . Expressions are nice but there is a certain disconnected feeling in the poem and I cannot pinpoint the reason why though I read it twice (maybe because the reason might be me , that is , to say , my perception.) . Good Writing .