First Part of Getting Through the Tough Times

CHAPTER 1 - Finding the Resources to Persevere During Tough Times

 Tough Times Can Happen Any Time

 Tough times happen to all of us.  They can happen gradually or suddenly in any area of our lives, such as with money, family, health, work, relationships �" unfortunately there are so many possible areas where tough times can happen. Things may be going relatively smoothly, when POW, so much of our life seems to be turned upside down.  We find that our days are like a maze, as we try to get through the decisions and minefields that confront us. When we wake up in the morning, our mind is flooded with the painful and difficult challenges that we have to deal with.

 

Tough Times Can’t Be Ignored

 Tough times can happen without any warning, out of the blue.  Or they can unfold gradually, with full warning as they develop.  They can be the result of our own mistakes and shortcomings, or they can happen totally outside the realm of our control.  One thing that all tough times have in common is that they are tough.  They demand our attention and resources to deal with them. No matter how much we may want them to disappear, they are front and center in our lives, and we can’t avoid them.

 

 We Must Persevere

 During the tough times, it is often tempting to give up and throw in the towel.  The obstacles can seem so difficult and immense, that it’s often hard to find within ourselves the strength to keep on going and persevere. Despair, however, can be a self-perpetuating downward spiral, sapping our strength that we need to get through each day. But giving up won't make the tough times go away �" rather, giving up usually makes things more difficult and complicated.

 

We Yearn for Purpose and Hope

 We know that it’s better to find within ourselves the strength and resources to rise to our challenges, and to persevere through the battle to keep our head above water. We know that we will be strengthened by a sense of meaning and purpose and hope.  But these life rafts are often not easy to find.  As the storm rages outside and within us, as the tough times persist day after day, we yearn for the positive attitude that we sense will give us the resolve to keep on going.

 

At The Crossroads Between Hope and Despair

 Every day, every moment, we seem poised at a crossroads �" whether to summon our strength to hold on tight and keep on going, or to give up hope. Can we keep the flickering flame alive, believing that the dawn will rise, bringing with it a warm sun and brighter day?  Can we keep our spirit up as we look for solutions? Do we have what it takes to deal with - and overcome - the tough times?

 

Presenting An Idea That Provides Meaning

 We will present a way of looking at tough times that can vastly increase our chances of success as we confront our challenges.  This perspective can give us strength and a sense of purpose to help us find the resources we need to overcome the difficulties we face. This sense of meaning can make us stronger and more resilient as we climb the mountain and battle the storm of the tough times.

 

 CHAPTER 2 - A Helpful Idea

 An Idea From The Sages

 We will describe an idea that was developed by Jewish sages over the millennia.  In particular, it is similar to what Rabbi Chaim Luzzato (1707-1746) writes in his book Derech Hashem. We will show how this idea can be extremely useful to help us get through our tough times.

 

The Perfect And Infinite Creator

 The idea begins with the existence of the Creator who is perfect, infinite, all-knowing, and all good.  Though we use these adjectives to describe the Creator, really the Creator is beyond our ability to comprehend. Trying to understand the Creator is like an ant trying to understand quantum physics.  We are told by the sages that these are the attributes of the Creator, so we will begin with this assumption.

 

In The Beginning There Were The Heavens and the Earth

 In the beginning the Creator made time.  (Just to give an inkling of how limited our comprehension is, it is almost impossible for us to visualize time ‘beginning’.  We’re tempted to ask what happened ‘before’ that. But today scientists agrees that at some point time ‘began’). When time began, the Creator made the “Heavens and the Earth”.  The Heavens refers to the spiritual world, while the Earth refers to the physical world. The physical world came into being with what science calls a “big bang” in which the universe with its billions of galaxies exploded from a single point, hurtling away from each other at almost the speed of light.

 

The Heavens Refers To A Spiritual World

 The Heavens, on the other hand, refers to a spiritual world inhabited by spiritual beings.  One type of spiritual being is static.  This type of spiritual being remains just the way it was created, and cannot change.  The Hebrew word for this spiritual being is an ‘omed’, literally that it ‘stands’, meaning that it cannot change.

 

The Spiritual Being With Free Will

 The Creator also made a more sophisticated spiritual being that can change.  This spiritual being has free-will to make choices.  Because it has free-will, in a sense it has an attribute that is similar to the Creator Himself who has ultimate free-will.   This spiritual being can make choices, grow, and perfect itself.  As this spiritual being grows and perfects itself, it can reach a far higher level than the kind of spiritual being that is merely static.

 

The Soul Enters The Body

 The Creator made a place where these special spiritual beings can have the opportunity to change and grow. He made the Earth, with its air, water, vegetation, and animals. Then He created people.  Into each person the Creator places one of these sophisticated spiritual beings with free-will.  We refer to this spiritual being as our ‘soul’.  The sages say that the soul enters the body of a person 40 days after conception. 

 

Challenges Are A Wonderful Gift To Help Us Grow

 From the time that we are born, we begin a tremendous journey in which we can exercise our free-will to grow and change.  This is a wonderful gift that we are given. Throughout our lives, we are confronted by challenges and tests that are opportunities for growth. While we are in our physical body, there is no limit to how much we can perfect our soul. 

 

 Vignette A �" Bob Jones

Tough Time

Bob Jones was in shock when he heard that the auto parts plant, where he had been a production manager for over 20 years, was closing. It was a week before Thanksgiving last year when he drove home in the rain in disbelief, and broke the news to Susan his wife and Freddy their 14 year old son. Susan had a little income as a secretary in Dr. Benson’s office, and Freddy started delivering newspapers after school. But now the unemployment insurance had run out, their debts were up to the sky, the credit cards were maxed out, and their house was about to go into foreclosure. Bob had applied for so many jobs that year and come up empty handed, that he had stopped looking. He felt like his financial roof was caving in on him, and he didn’t know how he was going to pay this month’s bills.

 

Getting Through

One evening at dinner with Sarah and Freddy, Bob realized that the first step out of the financial mess was to grab a hold of himself and dispel the mood of depression and panic that hung over him. During that discussion, they came up with a plan. They would sell their house and rent a smaller one, and that would let them to pay off their bills. Ever since he was a teenager, Bob’s hobby was fixing cars. He and Freddy put up posters in the neighborhood telling people about his services. The work started coming in, but it was slow going.  On weekends and after school, he trained Freddy, and he liked working with his son. As business increased, he applied for a loan to buy a small workplace. His family wasn't out of the red, but they were pulling together to try to improve things.

 

CHAPTER 3 - The Challenges and Tests

 Our Life Is An Exciting Journey To Perfect Our Soul

 The physical world on Earth that we inhabit as human beings is an arena that enables us to exercise our free will. Each of us has a very personal and individual journey that can be elevating and meaningful. To perfect our soul can be an exciting and exhilarating endeavor.

 

Challenges Are The Purpose Of Life

 When we are born, our tests begin.  Throughout our lives, we are confronted by challenges. These tests are not meant to bring us down or make us fail.  On the contrary, they are the very purpose of life �" to give us opportunities to grow.  We need to reach inside ourselves and use our internal resources to confront the challenges that are meant to stretch us. 

 

Finding The Resources To Meet Our Tailor-Made Tests

 The Creator provides us with tests that are tailor-made for us.  Our tests match exactly what we need to work on. In fact, we can see what we need to work on by examining the nature of our tests.  We should be encouraged by the knowledge that the Creator is giving us these tests because He knows that we have the abiilty to succeed and make the right choices. It is our task to find the resources we need, and try to do our best to make the right decisions.

 

Tough Times Can Lead To The Greatest Growth

 By definition it’s not easy. Tough times are usually challenging and difficult. But the toughest times can be the greatest periods of growth.  When we are pressed, we can respond by looking deep within ourselves, to find abilities that we never knew we had.  This enables us to grow more than if we didn't have tests.  A higher soul wants to use this life to progress, and the Creator accommodates it by giving it more and harder tests.

 

We Can Succeed In All Our Tests

 This does not guarantee that we will do well on all our tests.  To be a test, there must be a chance of failure as well as success. It is only because there is a possibility of failure that we get credit when we do well on our tests.  The tests are supposed to be unpredictable, challenging, and difficult.  But there is no test that is so difficult that we can’t pass it, because by definition each test is an opportunity for our soul to improve.  No test, no matter how difficult it seems, is beyond our ability to pass it.

 

The Creator Wants Us To Succeed

 All tests have solutions, and it is up to us to be resourceful and think creatively to find the solutions. The Creator wants us to succeed, not fail.  Having a positive attitude helps us respond optimally to our tests. It is ironic, but having difficult tests may be an indication that we have a uplifted soul, ready to scale heights not achievable otherwise.

 

The Creator Provides Tests As An Opportunity

 We should be nimble and prepared for every test as it comes our way �" like a shortstop in a baseball game, ready for any ball that is hit.  To be nervous or worried about the tests is counter-productive.  We should remember that the Creator is providing our tests as an opportunity for us to grow. When we are confronted by difficult situations, and we rise to the occasion and find resources within ourselves, this is a tremendous gift and opportunity that the Creator has given us.  As we struggle and face our challenges, the Creator must stay in the background so that our tests are real 

 

Vignette B �" Mary Harper

Tough Time

Mary couldn’t concentrate on the figures on her computer screen. She looked at her wedding photo on her work desk, and remembered her beautiful wedding to Alan 15 years ago. But early in the marriage it seemed that they didn’t have much to talk about, and they had drifted apart. She couldn’t remember the last she had felt attracted to Alan, and they had no children. Alan was pleasant enough, and he busied himself with sports on the weekend, while she cleaned the house or went shopping alone or with friends. Her friend Judy had just gotten divorced, and said she was happier. Mary didn’t know if she should talk with Alan about this subject or anything else. She felt very alone, and didn’t know what to do.

 

Getting Through

While looking at her wedding picture one day, Mary remembered Alan’s good qualities that had first drawn her to him, and she resolved to try to improve their marriage. She called up a friend, and got the recommendation of a marriage counselor. Alan was glad to go, and with the counselor they started talking things out. Alan opened up about what he liked and didn’t like, and Mary did the same. They went out to dinner twice a week, and started communicating. When Mary became pregnant, that brought out a warmth and closeness that Mary had only dreamt about. Mary now felt more active in her life and marriage, and she was committed to focusing on their relationship and talking with Alan about what was on their minds.