I really like this. Very well expressed, with great protest. Sadly true, we as human and The People of our various countries, are stuck amidst the muck and slime our leaders throw at us. And yet, we still seem to forget what is actually really important-taking things for granted, all that is in it's simplest form. Great work Akeen! And welcome to WC!
I appreciate this, not necessarily the whole verse, more the individual lines on their own... my best "Stars quietly flicker out, similar to candles caught in a breeze"
Why haven't I read your work before? (I will remedy that!) I am amazed at your word placement and phrasing. What a benevolent and beautiful piece of work this is, it transported me to wonderful and sinister places all at once...KUDOS!!
My favorite line...
'Everything is something despite its lack of importance.'
I finally got here......and so glad I did, what a stunning piece showing the gruesome society we live in today, this piece brings wisdom and depth.Both of which I love.
Creating a massive absence for noticing earth and life’s
Most beautiful nothings that strive to halt grief’s
Worrisome hands from interacting with the devils keys
Which could unlock dooms catastrophic doors, with simple ease.
This was so powerful! first it was simple with ease and ended with such force :) i enjoyed it very much. Keep writing of course you have a way with words and ideas. I especially liked this lines:
sins turn into normalness once they been committed,
Intuiting many sin-filled tears when sinners cry.
I like this. Its very passionate without sounding angry.
I don't know how you'll take it, but in my head it sounded like a rap. Personally, I liked it that way as well. Good read. I'll review more of your works later.
A great message Akeen, one I believe in completely. It's very true how we worship money and useless material objects. We focus everything around little insignificant things while we should be putting all that time and energy into developing our society in a possitive way and make the world a better place to love in.
I noticed an error here; "...they been committed" it should be 'they've'
also "Alongside earths continuation" it should be Earth.
Earth= the planet, earth= the soil
I really like this. Very well expressed, with great protest. Sadly true, we as human and The People of our various countries, are stuck amidst the muck and slime our leaders throw at us. And yet, we still seem to forget what is actually really important-taking things for granted, all that is in it's simplest form. Great work Akeen! And welcome to WC!
Love this poem and it's message. The only thing is that it might need to be broken up a little to improve the flow to me. But, I love the poem. Great job!
My name is Akeen V. I am a writer and poet. I am now aiming to become established in this wretched world. Hoping that my works will reign supreme and be remembered after my life has come to an abrupt .. more..