Obvious Yet Overlooked-By: Akeen V.

Unstoppable tomorrow arrives as today leaves.

Glorious sunshine rises as grayish light disperses.

Stars quietly flicker out, similar to candles caught in a breeze.

 

Seconds pass casually without recognition like a passing fly.

Time’s notion quickly falls irrelevant as soon as it begins.

 

Sins turns into normalness once they have been committed,

Intuiting many regret filled tears when sinners cry.

 

While in today’s devalued principles and greed filled eyes

Nothing amounts to nothing, which is implausible,

Everything is something despite its lack of importance.

 

Nothing can ever equal nothing, for nothing does not exist.

Yet our egotistical human race persists to dismiss

That all living or nonliving things are reliable

And solely accountable for the survival of our comforted

Society, where meaningful actions, transformations

Alongside earth's continuation is easily dispersed and thwarted.

 

Therefore ambitious materialism, grows ever more distorted,

Ensuring money will always be upheld to godly proportions.

Creating a massive absence for noticing earth and life’s

Most beautiful nothings that strive to halt grief’s

Worrisome hands from interacting with the devils keys

Which could unlock dooms catastrophic doors, with simple ease.

Reviews

[J.]

I really like this. Very well expressed, with great protest. Sadly true, we as human and The People of our various countries, are stuck amidst the muck and slime our leaders throw at us. And yet, we still seem to forget what is actually really important-taking things for granted, all that is in it's simplest form. Great work Akeen! And welcome to WC!

[CHRIS ANDES]

you're good!!

[wirte4me]

I liked this a lot. You seem to have put heart and soul into it. I really like the message and how deep this is. Great job. Keep writing and I will read them all! [=

[Lilith]

Let me start off by saying how much I enjoyed reading this piece. It was very well written, and was rather deep. However, there was one small issue I had with it.
Though piece was good and did seem well-thought out, it also seemed slightly random. I could see the points where each stanza connected together because they were rather obvious (I think you meant it to be that way, seeing as how the rest of the piece is written), but there are certain places in the poem where the lines seem rather random, like an extra thought thrown in haphazardly.
This is not necessarily a bad thing depending on the type of writing, but I don't believe it fits in too well with this piece. Perhaps you could add another stanza or two to make sure that all points are thoroughly covered? Or you could just not change anything, because it is your piece after all and only you know what is best for it.
:D

[Dingo the Archwizard of..]

This was a great write, man. Though I don't necessarily like the whole Devil/sinning aspect, I can certainly understand where you're coming from.

[Deanna J. Rodriquez]

i like dis one !! EXPRESSED very well i like dis part, "Nothing can ever equal nothing, for nothing does not exist." itz true n some dont even realize it.. well donw~

[Ruth]

What a message! A powerful poem love, great work!
I adore this!
Greed and greed, thats what this world has become, eyes see nothing more, nothing less in the powers that be at least! We are all opening the door to hell! Not so much in a biblical sense but in a humanity sense! When will we all realise we need to unite!
Guess there is some light in darkness, we just have to find it!
GREAT poem :)
xx

[Havatara]

It definitely was descriptive. I hate what humans have become, yet I relish the easy and meaningless life I live. Aren't we all hypocrites? As for your poem, the line "Evil turns into normalness once they been committed," doesn't make sense to me. Also, in the line "Alongside earths continuation is easily dispersed and thwarted." did you mean "earth's"? Just a couple of things that I saw.

[Winters_Lost_Walk]

Very descriptive and interesting. It reflects about the world in my opinion. nice piece of work :)

[Jamie]

Deep, i liked it.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Interesting piece...can something come from nothing? Legend has it that God "spoke" the universe into existence...but the Greek word is equally applied as "thought". Now, the idea of thought as a creative force should not be a stranger to the writer or the poet...since we practice that axiom each time we create. But thought is not only a "creative" force but an altering force as well...changing, shaping, molding every aspect of creation. This piece speaks awareness of the problem but does not address the solution. The solution to halt destruction...to reverse it even, lies in creativity, in thought which transpires into action...like Descartes famous quote, "I think, therefore, I am"...change the ways of others by changing their thinking...influence their opinion by appealing to their sense of logic, reason and fairplay. But greed will not listen, except to the jingle of coins...so one must find a way to make the good in life pay...it should not be so hard a task considering how the evil in life is so very costly. This is my task as a philosopher...to show the world, NOT that, "Crime doesn't pay" but that charity, kindness, mercy, courage, honesty, beauty, love, faith and hope are a great reward to be sought and treasured because they are the keys to physical as well as spiritual wealth and a healing balm to a troubled mind and heart thus promoting even the health and the life of those who follow those precepts. "Obvious but overlooked..." It was a great title for this thought provoking piece.