Big Reveal

I was back at the hospital to see the facial specialist, he removed my bandage and took a look at my face, I knew that it was healed, but I was worried about scarring. He pressed my check looking closely, even then I could see the pity in his eyes. I'm afraid it looks like we need to schedule you in for a small surgery, he told me, passing a mirror to allow me to look at my injury properly for the first time. 

I looked into the mirror to see a half inch wide circle of jet black that faded in every direction, the entire scar took almost 2 inches on my cheek.  Now, this may not seem like much when you talk about numbers but imagine how you would feel if almost your entire cheek area had a huge black mark spread across it.  I looked in shock thinking this is a joke, I was a 13-year-old girl who already had worries about my appearance, I thought I was fat and ugly, uncomfortable in my own skin; at school, I was seen as a freak, I didn't want to think about what would happen now.  As I sat there the tears building, the doctor looked and said, "It's ok to cry you know, I can't imagine how hard it will be for you the new few months."  As he said it I burst out crying, loud sobs that wracked my entire body, once the flood gates opened they wouldn't stop, my parents took me home wrapped in my mothers loving embrace.

My parents tried to console me but I had to wait 6 months for the surgery, that was 6 months of being an even bigger freak than I was currently was. They took me to visit a makeup artist who after 3 hours said that the only way to cover it would be using latex to cover the area then makeup, however, warned this would take about an hour each day.  I tried for the first week but the other kids laughed at 'Roses lame attempt to look pretty', after a while I would just scream at my parents refusing to go to school.  One day my dad had enough of my 'belligerent behaviour' and forced me to school, actually carrying me to the reception, I hadn't put on the makeup so my scar was clear on my face.  My already deteriorating mental health took a huge hit, I lost all self-confidence, I was convinced people were only nice because they felt sorry for me, I refused to go to my clubs and when I wasn't forced to school I was just sit in my room, alone and isolated.

After the reveal of my scar when my dad forced me to lunch a few people gave me pitying looks most sniggered in range of my hearing. During lunch time Ryan managed to pin me in the corner of the library, leaning in much too close he whispered into my ear, "That new look suits a little freak like you, maybe I could take you and introduce you to some friends." As he said it he rubbed his crotch with his hand, then with the same hand gently rubbed it along my cheek. I felt so dirty and could feel the bile raising in my throat as my body began shaking in fear. He laughed as he walked away knowing that his statement had terrified me.  After he left me I throw up everything I had eaten that day and was sent home early, my parents weren't happy but when they saw how white I was they believed I was genuinely ill.  

When I got home I emptied my wardrobe and cut any clothes that showed skin with a pair of scissors.  I would 'borrow' my brother's clothes that were too big and baggy on me, hiding away semblance of being a female.  I didn't eat properly, I didn't wash regularly or brush my teeth, my body became disgusting.  I thought that if I could hide my feminity then he would leave me alone, that he wouldn't approach me again that he would carry on just bullying me normally.  I become something that disgusted myself so I was pretty sure that no one else would want to come near me.