The True Meaning of Loss

A Story by S A R

One of the greatest lessons in life shared to readers who are interested on this topic

Loss sucks. Loss makes us feel like a failure. Why did we lose something so precious that it takes our breath away when we brood over its incident? My life consists of various types of losses. Loss of hearing. Loss of loved ones by death. Loss of relationships through breakup or a simple fadeout that I didn't even notice until it is too late. We often ruminate our losses or brush them aside in the darkest corners of our conscience. Emotions either overflow if we let ourselves grieve or they are buried until someone or a new parallel experience digs it out unknowingly. Everyone processes it differently, but it still hurts in different ways.

Now why do we hate losses while we celebrate for what we gain? A logic brain can easily scoff at the question. Because we no longer benefit from what we lost. But if that loss is for the better? Or for worse? A person with disability grieves for the loss of their lost ability that a human being naturally possess. It is hard to tell such person to see the bright side of their loss because it is natural wanting their lost ability that everyone around them use it effortlessly without any thought. The same is said for a person who lost their freedom over dictatorship either politically or within one's family. It could also be said for people who lost their loved ones through death since death is irreversible. The list of losses can overflow my passage, so I skip to my next paragraph.

Now why does loss exist in the first place? Why do we feel the gut-wrenching pain from the loss that we experience? Even the loss of an old, cherished experience is as painful as a poke of a needle on our finger. And it is not even the beginning of the story about loss. The aftereffects are even worse, depending on the degree of how attached or how much happiness we have gained from what was lost. The greater the loss, the greater the pain. I believe that a person experiencing a great loss wonders why so much love, time and energy did so was invested in what was lost. What is the point? Why invest in something so much only for it to be taken away?

Over time, my life experience tells me that loss taught me that things aren't always in my control. You know, the ironic thing is when we are alive, we tend to believe that we live forever. We tend to avoid thinking about death because what is the point of that when we are alive? But that very same tendency reflects on the way we see everything and everyone around. We believe that everyone lives forever, and everything is constant regardless of our happiness or suffering. In my opinion, that's the biggest illusion in the world because it makes us take life and its experiences for granted.

Now why does loss still hurt even though we are well aware about the inevitability of change and destruction? Well, we often forget that we aren't meant to live forever either. Death can knock our door of life anytime. When we die, nothing comes with us, not even our own body. It is hard to accept the impermanence of our lives because if we are not eternal, what is the point of working hard for what we want when that doesn't last either after achieving it? That's where the problem lies. Working for something to gain something that isn't constant is a not a bad idea but being obsessed with the outcome is. Living a life expecting the outcome for whatever we do is not a bad idea but being attached to the outcome is. And that's what loss teaches us.

Loss reminds us of the impermanence of everything around ourselves. It teaches us to cherish what is already helping us in our lives and respect it. It teaches us humility to notice whatever good exists is in this world and that it has to be protected. That's the true beauty of loss. It also allows us to feel happy when we lose something that's detrimental to our well-being. even though we grieve about it in the beginning due to attachment.

Change and loss are like twins because wherever change is, there is always something that is lost in the process. Sometimes we notice, sometimes we don't. Now what about the changes that actually made us suffer? Well, even then, we can rely on change to bring good stuff and experiences into our lives. Moreover, it makes us realize the importance of something we lost and makes us better people by cherishing what we already have and bless what we receive. It is all in the perspective indeed. The true power of loss lies in the ability of acceptance. Acceptance of what is, rather than dreaming and wishing what could be, really does ground ourselves in the present. There is no harm in dreaming as long as we are in tune with what is already going in our lives in the present. So, dream, hope, cherish, protect and work to the fullest with no attachments. It does remind me of Stoic philosophy, but my experience does enable me to understand it well.

I am also aware that not everyone views loss the same way I do. And it is completely acceptable because I believe that we always have differences that makes us unique. Let's make use of our lives to be lived with fullest potential and never back out by fear of loss and grief. We will die one day anyways, and it is better to cherish, work, improve & live life to the fullest and embrace the changes that it brings forth. Thank you for existing, my dear readers.