#SOCIETY'S S**T !!!!

" WE DON'T CARE TO MAKE OUR RULES

BUT WE CARE TO FOLLOW THE RULES ,

MADE BY NONE OTHER THAN SOCIETY!!!"

 

SHE wore a pencil skirt

'cause she liked it more than a suit

So, society called her S**T !!!

SHE wanted to marry a man 

who respected her and loved her 

'cause she didn't want to marry a man

whom she didn't know and doubted

So, society called her S**T !!!!

The man she loved touched her,

she didn't say anything 

but the man she didn't know touched her 

she denied and screamed

So, society called her S**T !!!

He took his time to marry 

'cause he wanted to be independent

She took her time to marry

'cause she wanted to be independent 

So, society called her S**T !!!!

THIS SOCIETY CALLED HER S**T........

SUBMISSIVELY , HER FAMILY CALLED HER S**T!!!!

IN DESPAIR , IN THOSE SCREAMS .......SHE DIED......CHANGING THIS SOCIETY

 AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

 THAT WHY DIDN'T HER PARENTS STOOD BY HER SIDE........

Reviews

[Najam Us Saher]

Oh dear, you are just 16 and you have written such a strong poem on society with such a serious topic, you amaze me. It was beautifully done. Now I know age doesn't decide what to write and what not, if so called 'society' can name anyone writers have right to write about them. Very strong take on today's Indian scenario. I liked the honesty and rawness in your words.

[anonymous_at]

Well thanks a lot...... It's really nice to see that there are people who agree with me.... And i think life has taught me too much..... And when i can't take it anymore.... I let myself being expressed through poem....... Since i have also been the victim of being judged by society..... So that's what me write this poem...

Glad that u liked... :)

[Najam Us Saher]

We all are people living in a society and getting judged by them. You are welcome :)

[anonymous_at]

Ya... You are right..... :)

[Haley]

you have a huge passion. i don't know if it evolved due to something traumatic or if it is just innate within you, whatever it is, i definitely felt it. you have all the makings of a great writer.

[anonymous_at]

I'm overwhelmed to hear that..... Well it's because of my unfortunate past and present....hope why u say comes out to be true...coz I want everyone to know why I went through and how strong I'm nd what I'm capable of doing.....

[barleygirl]

I am always interested to find out more about the social ideas & practices in other cultures. You've drawn a stark portrait here that "SHOWS INSTEAD OF TELLS" (first rule of good writing!) I can feel the venom in your words, but there isn't any excess drama . . . you just set out the details of each scene & leave it for the reader to draw any conclusions. That's a powerful persuasive technique. When we write an opinion piece, we get a bunch of blowback. But if you just paint what you see, it's kinda hard to argue with that. You are clearly tapping into a natural talent for seeing things that matter & knowing how to express it. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[anonymous_at]

Thanks margie... For dropping by and reviewing.... It really means a lot.... And thanks for encouraging me..... And it's good to see that out there people can understand what I'm trying yo say... And they find it quite right.... Unlike people here....
love you
-A-

[Thedreamer16]

Beautifully portrait honey...It's really remarkable that someone has the courage to actually stand up against the people who try to limit us..Girls...

[anonymous_at]

Thanks a lot for encouraging... 💗💗💗nd luv u mum..... :) be my support forever

[anonymous_at]

and i don't think that i would have been able to make it to the very present of mine without you....

[Thedreamer16]

Well...It was u who made me stock to u..With ur magnetic persona...It has always been u...And I am so grateful for that

[Thedreamer16]

Stick....*

[anonymous_at]

well that's your way of seeing me.....'cause i still find myself ...useless most of times...but whatever thanks for being the reason for me to hold on to this s****y life of mine.....:)

[Thedreamer16]

Sweetheart..Right now..U don't know what is your come ur way..And how well u can manage it...And when the time comes when u understand what worth ur then everything will change..U will love yourself and ur life and then..There will be no stopping..No regrets..No bad feelings..Just happiness and as to how I am able to see it...That day will come soon😘

[anonymous_at]

love you to infinity and beyond mum..:)

[Thedreamer16]

Same baby 😘

[Gee]

This is obviously how you see society's view on women striving tor independence, why ???

[anonymous_at]

To be honest.... I see the society in this way because it saw me in that way.... By that way i mean that people would make orthodox judgments about me..... From me being depressed due to the victim of cyber crime to wearing dresses i like to..... By the way thanks a lot for reading my poem..... :)

[Gee]

Thank you for r explaining. It was my pleasure, I enjoyed the read.

[anonymous_at]

No problem.... :) you are welcome....

[Avia]

There's a lot of capital letters and exclamation points. It looks like a chant for a women's march. I understand what you're trying to show, but it takes away the emotions that the poem should have. It's very nice, just tone down the capital letters and excessive punctuation. Unless your aim is to make it look like an angry speech, then it's okay the way it is.

[anonymous_at]

Well sometimes i like to flow my emotions in bold letters..... I have been oppressed for long time..... So i think now i like to pen down my emotions and statements in bold letters...
Though i will try to take care of it..... Thanks for taking out some time to read my poem and reviewing it.....

[JayG]

First...one punctuation mark per sentence. A row of bangs, which denote shouting, not emotion, don't make capital letters, which do the same thing, any more capital. Let the words express the emotion, not the punctuation.

That aside, I think you're generalizing, and simplifying. You blame the generality: society, for behavior and dress standards, then talk as though it's an entity and that the "rules" are both universal and white and black. But consider a single woman being viewed by four people: a wealthy traditionalist woman, a poverty stricken man, a poet and a rapist. No two of them will see her the same way. Yet all are members of society. Some view her because of cultural differences, and all are influenced by personal taste and goals. As Rufus E. Miles Jr, a bureaucrat with Bureau of the Budget famously said, "Where you stand depends on where you sit."

So while you can truly say that the situations you outline will bring the comment that she is a s**t, it will also bring,"Right on."

[anonymous_at]

Though i like to express my emotions in bold letters..... But i will try to not to do that next time.... Thanks for reading my poem and reviewing it.... Well to live in the society with people full of orthodox thinking is just like breathing contaminated air in open....and at the same time.... I do consider that everyone can never agree with each other.... Everyone has their own way of perspective but then no one gave them right to define somebody's class or status..... We dress up for ourselves not for others to judge.... We make decisions which suits us not others... So people (society) should stop ruining others life with their orthodox judgments.....

[JayG]

I can see where you're coming from, and the issue you're commenting on. And, I absolutely agree with you that forced marriage is at its core, slavery when one of the parties is against it—torture if you're the one experiencing it. But, You're diluting your message by making a general judgement that society is wrong in making any judgements, And you're informing the reader instead of involving them, emotionally.

Suppose, instead, you'd written a poem that made the reader feel the time leading up to wedding night from the viewpoint of the woman in that situation. Perhaps you could present the wedding ceremony from her viewpoint, as she catches a glimpse of the man she desperately loves, but who she cannot have.

My point is that it is better to have the reader shout "No!" then nod and say, "Uh-huh...poor baby," then yawn and turn to the next poem. You turn people to your side far more easily with emotion than a reasoned argument

[anonymous_at]

well thanks for your advice.....i'll try to use that type of stats in my poems....:)

[anonymous_at]

i think few girls might find it relatable........but let me make it clear that i had tried to put down my feelings.....and i haven't tried to offend anyone.....hope everyone likes it..... constructive and positive reviews are welcome ....... hope everyone likes it......... :)