My Butterfly

Dreams never last.

On silken wings she flutters to the ground. Flowers, tall as houses smile down at her. The sounds of laughter, chatter, singing, playing. Small children run on chubby legs, dimples in their pretty pink cheeks, eyes of sapphire, hair of gold, tiny pearly white teeth inside an ever smiling mouth. Cherubs from heaven they run and dance.

Her eyes open wider, the sun is so large, it seems so close. The day is warm, a cool breeze blowing across her face.

The child reaches out as a butterfly lands on the mossy stones at her feet, she grasps at it, desperately wanting, needing to feel it's tiny wings in her hands.

The butterfly is gone, too fast it disappears into the clear, blue sky.

She sees the ground begin to crumble beneath her feet, the plants wither and die before her eyes, the children start to cry and run away. The sky turns grey and the enormous sun is hidden, the babbling brook turns blood red and she feels herself falling backwards, down and down and down into the endless darkness.

Hands that clutch and grasp and hurt wake her. She screams out, the sound so loud and shrill that she is violently shaken into consciousness. The child is alone, on a bare bed in a bare room. The door is locked, the windows barred. She is trapped, alone in the cold and lonely night.

Reviews

[luvs2write]

Your writing has a very poetic feel to it. I love the imagery and description. I can see everything that you described. I really like the sudden change in the story too, when the girl kind of comes back to reality and realizes that it was only a dream. This is sad, possibly a little dark, but I love it. You had me hooked from the beginning...=) Keep writing!

[Aimee Olivera]

Thanks! (:

[Charles Leighton]

What you have here is good. imagery is excellent. is that it. i would like to have had more. Also, could you make the font larger. i had to squint to read it. 12 point would be good. i have not read several stories in this workshop because the font was so small. happy dreams.

[Aimee Olivera]

Thanks Charles,
I have made the font bigger now. Well, I wasn't really sure of what would happen in this story, it was more of an idea that I decided to quickly write down, than a possible book...
Aimee (:

[Charles Leighton]

easier to read. thank you