Juggling Thoughts

"Have you ever tried counting your thoughts?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your thoughts. Have you ever tried counting them?"

"You mean like how many I’ve had in a day or something like that?"

"No, no. I mean counting how many thoughts you have as you’re having them."

"What’s the difference?"

"There’s a big difference. There’s as much difference between what you said and what I said as there is between a calculator and a circus performer."

"Oh, well now you’re making much more sense. You had me a bit baffled at the counting thoughts thing but now that you’ve brought the circus into it everything’s much clearer."

"Please, just bear with me for a minute…"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Of course, you always have a choice."

"Well then, I choose to be on a beach in Spain."

"What? What the heck does that mean?"

"You tell me. You’re the one running off with the circus."

"I am not running off with the circus…look, just think of it like this �" a calculator can only handle one number at a time, right?"

"If you say so."

"It’s not just that I say so…it’s true. It can multiply, add, divide, subtract…do all kinds of amazing things but it can only do one of them at a time. It’s linear."

"Linear. Right. Not like a circus performer."

"Or to be more precise, a juggler. A juggler can juggle balls, fruit, bowling pins even chainsaws. They can juggle two, three, six, ten items at a time and they can juggle high, low, fast, medium and slow. A juggler can do much more than a calculator and much of it at the same time."

"Still, I’d much rather have a calculator during a math test."

"Has anyone ever told you that you can be difficult to talk to?"

"Only when comparing calculators to jugglers."

"Just forget about the calculator, okay? Forget I even brought it up. Concentrate on the juggler."

"Well that seems fairly harsh. What did the calculator do to you? Just because it can’t juggle chainsaws doesn’t seem to be a good reason to just forget about it. I mean, I can’t juggle chainsaws, does that mean we’ll be dumping me by the wayside next?"

"Forget the damn calculator!"

"Well, what if I imagine the juggler juggling calculators? Would that be all right?"

"Fine. He’s juggling calculators. Can I get back to my point now?"

"I’m still not convinced you had one but carry on."

"All right. Now, what I’ve been trying to explain to you is it’s kind of like juggling, only this is with your thoughts and not chainsa- I mean, calculators."

"Wait a minute, now we’re juggling thoughts? So why did you bother letting me swap the chainsaws for calculators if you were just going to swap them for thoughts? Seems like a lot of work for nothing."

"Work? What work? There are no actual chainsaws or calculators or jugglers. It’s all made up."

"Still, it doesn’t seem very fair. You leading me on like that."

"I see. Can I continue on or would you like a moment alone to cry?"

"No, no. I’ll be fine. Just no more trying to trick me, all right?"

"You really are a piece of work, you know that?"

"Well, that’s what my Mom tells me when I phone her on Sundays. Of course she always wanted me to be a juggler but I just couldn’t lift the chainsaws so I became an accountant. She eventually got over it and we’ve moved on."

"Okay, now you’re just making stuff up."

"Not so far as you know."

"Are you finished?"

"Are you?"

"No, but I do wish I had never started. I’m not one for giving up though so I’ll continue."

"Please do."

"Where were we…? Oh yes, so instead of chainsaws or calculators or whatever else you might try and juggle, the trick is to try and see how many thoughts you can keep in the air at the same time."

"But…"

"I swear I will punch you right in the face."

"Nothing."

"That’s what I thought. Of course, we are not literally trying to imagine that our thoughts are looping about in the air. I was just trying to use a metaphor to help clarify my explanation. An approach that has gone irrevocably wrong so I am just going to drop the metaphor and forge ahead. Just close your eyes and try to concentrate on your thoughts. What are you thinking about?"

"Do I really have to close my eyes?"

"Are you always this difficult?"

"No but ever since you said you were going to punch me in the face I’m not really feeling that secure around you. Seems a little reckless of me to start closing my eyes while you’re standing right in front of me."

"Look, I’m not going to punch you in the face. I promise. Now will you please close your eyes?"

"Okay but remember you promised."

"Fine. Now, what are you thinking about?"

"A hedgehog dressed up as a ballerina."

"Good. A hedgehog dressed up- wait…a what? What on earth are you thinking about that for?"

"I don’t know. I didn’t realize there were rules to what we could think about. I’m going to open my eyes if you’re going to hit me."

"Relax, I’m not going to hit you. Just so long as it’s not a calculator. All right, so you’re thinking about a hedgehog in a tutu…"

"Oh, not just the tutu. He’s got the little slippers and everything."

"And he’s a boy hedgehog…"

"Of course. Reginald would be a terribly silly name for a girl hedgehog."

"Yes…yes I suppose it would. Wow. Are you sure you’re supposed to be out walking around alone? Should you maybe have a helmet on or maybe some sort of leash?"

"Come again?"

"Nothing. Forget it. So you’re thinking about a boy ballerina hedgehog and at the same time you are listening to me."

"Yup."

"And all the while you are keeping that hedgehog in your thoughts, at the same time you have to think about what I am telling you."

"Makes sense."

"So right there that’s two different thoughts at the same time. And while you are listening to what I am saying and breaking it down so that you understand it you are also thinking about whether it is something you need to reply to or not."

"Okay…"

"And if it is something you need to reply to you are probably already starting to piece together what it is you are going to say. Now, you may decide whether you are going to reply or not and then start building your reply but I bet if you concentrate really hard you’ll realize that as I am talking you may be fluctuating between responses as you digest each word or two. Sort of like playing a game of cards and choosing which card you are going to play based on what each of the players ahead of you put down."

"I thought we weren’t going to do anymore metaphores?"

"We aren’t. Forget I said it. However, the fact that you are thinking about what I’m saying and thinking about whether you need to respond and thinking about what you are going to respond with and then still be able to think back to earlier in our conversation, think about what I had said and then think up a question to ask without losing track of our current place in the conversation tells me that you are juggling a lot of thoughts at once. That doesn’t even include you processing the sounds around you, determining whether to ignore them or deal with them, or even thinking about random subjects that you have to keep track of such as a specific time you need to be home for dinner."

"Am I still thinking of the hedgehog?"

"Sure. The trick is to try and count how many things you are thinking of as you are thinking them. It’s a very tough thing to do for any length of time."

"Hee hee."

"What?"

"Reginald just started juggling little calculators."

"You’re an a*s."