A Moment In Childhood...Not Forgotten

A Moment In Childhood...Not Forgotten

The inverse world doth secretly

Exist in mirrored frames...

Casting not a true reflection

Of its Wonderland perplexion,

Upside-down, silvered perfection

Alice fiercely proclaims.

~

This book first fell into her hands

Whilst she was but a child.

Five years young, beset by sorrow,

No sweet moments left to borrow,

Breathless life with no tomorrow...

Her mother's soul exiled.

~

But, she would not acknowledge death,

Whereby all love is lost.

Her solitude would fair define

Imagination by design...

For ev'ry dream she did enshrine,

Were memories embossed.

~

If rabbit holes were sweet escapes

She tumbled through alone...

Perhaps a looking glass could be

As simple as a master key,

Unlocking the dark mystery

Of afterlife unknown.

~

Her focus was so absolute

Within this happy room...

Observing that each portrait faced

The mantlepiece, with mirror placed

Inside a walnut frame embraced,

A family heirloom.

~

Possessed of childlike confidence

Where magic did impel...

She inched the sturdy parlor chair

Across the wooden floor with care,

Whilst wishing Tinkerbelle were there

To cast a flying spell.

~

As the stone hearth did welcome her,

The task was brought to scale...

She quickly climbed upon the seat,

Then straightened steady on two feet,

Whilst reaching upward, palm to meet

The mantlepiece and rail.

~

She stepped upon the chairs soft arm

To gain much needed height.

'Twas then she heard the dinner bell,

So sudden, that she nearly fell...

But not a gasp didst she expel,

Struggling to keep upright.

~

Impossibility ignored,

She did proceed as planned.

Trusting in her comprehension

Of the book's central dimension...

And her mother's brief suspension

Within this hidden land.

~

As her breath did mark the mirror,

Small fingers pressed the glass.

A moment gone...and then the next,

Her brow did furrow, quite perplexed...

A tear within each eye collects,

Accepting the impasse.

~

With a sigh of resignation,

She carefully stepped down.

And as she slowly walks away,

Her fantasy did logic slay...

And hopeful innocence would stay

To keep sweet childhood's crown.

Reviews

[Misterr Remeat]

I love this! So very descriptive. Damn logic always gets in the way! great work!

[genocide]

this conveys what you love best about your childhood with vivid great detail

[Relic]

Another excellent piece Ahnjolie. The story you share here is vivid with great detail as usual. I have some questions maybe you could clear up?

Shed didst proceed as planned. (should that be she'd?)
In the lines:
(She carefully stepped down.
And as she slowly walks away,)



Would the first line be past tense
and the second be present intentionally? I might be too litteral when I write, so I would have wrote And she slowly walked away.

mirrow? (second to last stanza).

Like Richard, you also use the old style language which I like.
Whilst, didst, ev'ry. Perhaps I'll use these words someday. :)

I always enjoy seeing a new poem from you. I know you said you may be leaving but I for one will surely miss you. But you (along with Richard) have inspired me and for that I thank you. :)

[Ahnjolie McKenna]

You are incredibly sweet...thank you. When I originally posted this piece, I noticed later that day that there were spelling errors that I corrected immediately. I apologise for allowing the spelling errors to stand for hours before taking note of them. It shall not happen again...I promise. :)
Soft smiles for you...
Ahnjolie

[Relic]

Who's complaining? hahaha You never disappoint, love. :)

[Ahnjolie McKenna]

Smiling... you are too precious.
Soft kiss for you...
Ahnjolie

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

you took me to another time realm and place in this sweet sweet poem
you have a great imagination and the ability to paint a picture as we read it
no pictures or music needed on your poem here to enhance its beauty
i love this
thankyou so much

[Ahnjolie McKenna]

Thank you for your kind words...I am so happy that you are able to see the memory that I tried to translate into words. I am honoured that it pleased you so. :)
Soft smiles for you...
Ahnjolie

[Richard🖌]

My-MY, Dear Ahnjolie!
In this, the wonderment of your mystically beautiful, incomparably creative mind, heart, and soul sweep us up into a magical journey through a young girl's vividly enthralling kaleidoscope imagination.
It's no wonder, now, as a woman, you compose such amazingly wondrous poetry … just look at all the time you've had to blossom forth into the full-fledged, master poetess you've become.
The Sestet form and 8-count meter you selected for this piece is absolutely perfect for its ambiance, mystique, easy, seamless flow, and in your own uniquely pleasing rhyme-scheme of xbcccb its sheer poetic genius, the cute little tilde dividers between each verse add a nice touch, and what a splendidly perfect picture (how nice it would be displayed above your tile to keep the magical atmospheric imagery present).
Ahnjolie, you've taken us so sweetly, so deeply, into the imaginative mind and heart of this young girl, allowing us into her most personal daydream moments between she and her mirror … how sacredly precious this privilege is for your readers to share. I am both honored and thrilled, not only by sharing this amazing tale, but by the skill in which your poetic excellence, vivid imagery, and eloquence, all combine to make me feel as though I were present with her in her moments.

A huge thank you hug for this very sweet treat, our fine lady-poet … what a marvelous highlight poem this would be in a children's book.
Sheer captivatingly pure, poetic brilliance … thank You, Dear Ahnjolie ⁓ Richard :*)


Techy grammar/syntax hints: : )
V1 L6, consider, "Alice fiercely proclaims."
V10 L5, consider, "A tear within each eye collects,

[Ahnjolie McKenna]

Many sincere thanks, dear Richard...
As always, I am honoured by the kindness of your words regarding my writings. You are much too generous with your compliments, but I am most grateful that you find them to be pleasing. :)
Soft smiles for you...
Ahnjolie

[Richard🖌]

You make reading and sharing a pleasure, Ahnjolie … my thanks to thee, as-well. : )

[Richard🖌]

Thank you most humbly, too, Dear Ahnjolie, for using my little hints. 😊

[wordman]

this is a great story,i could see her there in her room living in her fantasy world

[Ahnjolie McKenna]

Smiling...thank you, love. Actually...it is my own childhood memory. I still find myself touching mirrors to this day... :)
Soft smiles for you...
Ahnjolie

[wordman]

well, hope you see a big smile in that mirror

[emipoemi]

I wondered when you'd post again,
For your ingenious rhymes
Are soothing til the final dot
And quite enchanting in their plot-
Like this: the Lady of Shalott
Meets Alice - most sublime!

Yet I must say you do again
Commit the grave mistake
Of saying "didst" and "couldst" when they
The second singular convey,
'Tis "did" and "could" what you should say,
And that would ice the cake.

But overall, this poem proves
That you're a brilliant bard,
Who seems indeed not from this age,
A witty and romantic sage,
With forms that look upon the page
So intricate and hard.

- Just careful with the second singular conjugations that should be third (and also words that land on the wrong sylLAbles, for they tend to ruin the poems power). Well done!

[Ahnjolie McKenna]

Smiling...thank you for your most beautiful review. I am impressed with how effortlessly you compose your poetic thoughts...I love it. :) I hope that your day is absolutely perfect...enjoy.
Soft smiles for you...
Ahnjolie

[emipoemi]

I pride in it being a talent of mine. Thank you for sharing your work. They're indeed a pleasure to read. Hope your day is going well, too.