Chapter 7

    It was soon after their first date that she began planning for their wedding. Looking back she knows she
should have seen the warning signs coming but she was so blinded by the physical passion and deep physical
attraction she had for him that she let certain things slip. More importantly she was trying to prove to herself more
than anyone else that he was nothing like her father and that he would always be with her.  She imagined they would grow old together with 2 or 3 kids and raising them in Tyler until she finally had grandchildren of her own. She saw the whole image in her head. She could even envision the house they would live in for the rest of their lives. She wanted so bad to believe in this illusion of him and her future that she lost herself and her sense of reality. 

    The very next day that he came over should have been her clue that they were from completely different
worlds and wanted completely different things out of life. When he came over to her house the first thing that
came out of his mouth was, “Geez woman this place looks like an old folk home. I didn't want to say anything the
first time that we were having sex but it just darn near turned me off coming in here and seeing just how this
place is. It reminds me of my old grandma's house and the last thing I want to be thinking while having sex with
anyone is my grandma.” 

     If this had been anybody else she would have said, Well if you don't like the way you see my place than
you can kindly leave the door the same way you came in.” but she wanted so bad to impress him and to keep him
that instead she said, “Well if you don't like it maybe I can make some changes. We could work on it together if
you want. It could be like a project. I just don't want you to leave. Not after our last night together. I have never
felt anything like that before and I feel like we are forming a strong connection with each other and I can see us
living with each other for a long time”  

    His next response should have told her everything she needed to know about him and his intentions but
she was so wrapped in not wanting to lose him that she was willing to do whatever it took to keep him. When she
looked up into his eyes he looked back at her and said, “Well I know at least I had a good time and it seemed you
had a good time as well but I am not sure if I am quite ready for all of that marriage and family stuff yet hun. I
have got too much going on in the back burner if you know what I mean and even as pretty as you are I am just not
the settling type for nobody lil miss. “  

     At that point something in her chest sank and she felt as if all of her hopes and dreams of being with him
for a long time had fallen out the window and that she was a fool for allowing him into her bed so soon without
truly knowing his motives and what he wanted but there was another part of her that was thinking in the back of
her mind,” Well I will get this man yet. He is going to marry me whether he knows it or not. We have too strong of
a connection to let him go. I am sure I can change his mind. I am sure that if I just do everything for him and he
sees how good I am as a wife he will have to settle and accept.  

    It took about 6 months for to them to officially get married. About 5 months into the relationship she
asked him if he wanted to get married. His look of shock should have said it all but he figured since he was
shacking up with her and she was at least cleaning his clothes and making dinner and the sex was still great might
as well just throw her a bone and at least see if he could marry her just for the sake of appeasing her and to keep
her on his good graces. He didn't want her to feel like he was just going to shack up with a woman and eat all of her cooking and still have sex with no intentions on actually going anywhere with it. It was with this logic he decided to accept her offer. He would come to resent feeling forced into marrying her later on in their marriage toward the end when his drinking began to get its most out of control.