Heat

My attempt at a sensual poem.

The thought of you 

Consumes me and 

Heats my body as 

I think about every

Time we touched

In ecstacy combining

Our heat and our

Love as we express

Each and every one

Of our desires carnally

And in the moment

We grip each other

Feeling our bodies 

Take over as our

Minds and souls

Become numb

To the please 

As we continue

To reach newer

Elevations of

Sensation and

Heat that flows

Through us like

Wet hot magma

Of emotion and

Lust that flows

Never ending

And always 

Building until

That sudden

Climax of 

Emotions

Sensations

Taking control

Over me and 

Over you as 

We dance the

Dance of lovers

Tonight as we

Shall dance until

We both lay in a 

Heap of disheveled

Pleasure as we 

Descend into 

Each other as 

We begin to 

Assimilate what

Happened we 

Draw to the 

Conclusion 

We must do

This dance

More often

Until we climax

Once again

In a heap of

Pleasure and heat

Reviews

[Sugar Plum ♥]

strong emotions, breathing love poem, you are good in that! i can feel the truth pulse of the verses, revealing hidden picture of love and passion...very nice.
{nour}

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I really like this attempt of yours. Very nice, the simple title just ties everything together I believe as well. I must say I like this part here:
"Heat that flows
Through us like
Wet hot magma"

[Junert]

Love it.

[Be myself!]

very sensual. erotic. good job

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

beautiful!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

A very tasteful bit of erotica finely expressed. Well done poet.

[Ahmad Cox]

I am glad you liked it. I am generally not used to writing these types of poems.

[Yellow Butterfly]

This has been very tastefully penned you should be pleased with yourself

It was very sensual to me... :o)

[Ahmad Cox]

I am glad you liked it

[Nick.B]

Good write, very raw and full with emotion...great job

[Ahmad Cox]

Yay. Thats what I what I was hoping for.

[clairekeown25]

gotta love that feeling :)

[Ahmad Cox]

Yep. But I know that usually I am not used to writing more sensual poems so I wanted to give it a try

[Barbara Walker]

the intent of your poem is great, but the words, "as we" are used too often and it detracts from the piece. My edited example:
The thought of you...
combining our heat and our love,
expressing each and every one
of our desires,
carnally and in that moment,
we grip each other,
feeling our bodies take over
and our minds and souls,
become numb to the pleasure.
We continue to reach higher
elevations of sensation
and heat flows through us
like wet hot magma
of emotion
and lust flows never ending,
and always building,
until that sudden climax
of emotions and sensations,
take control over me
and over you,
while we dance
the dance of lovers tonight.
We shall dance until we both
lay in a heap of disheveled pleasure,
descending into each other,
while we assimilate what happened
and we draw to the conclusion,
we must do the dance more often,
until we climax,
once again,
in a heap of pleasure and heat.

Of course, putting the end stops where you want them.