A Woman's Flight Chapter 19

All the while her heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute and her stomach was so tight and clenched so could hardly breathe. What she didn't know at that time was that she was having her first panic attack but unfortunately it wouldn't be the last.

All she knew at that moment she was seriously debating what it would be like if her father were dead and how much easily life would be if he would just die or leave and go missing. She was beginning to think that maybe he was right. She had never felt like she never fit into her family but then again she never really felt like she fit in with anyone.

She wondered if it might have been better if she hadn't been born at all. During her deepest darkest days of her childhood she would often imagine what her parents would think or say if she left them a suicide note or if she packed up and left or would they really care.

It was also around that time that she began to decide that she never wanted to repeat the same cycle as her mother and her father as well. She realized that she was very different from her family and from every one else. She wanted to use her empathy and her caring for people who were being taken advantage of to create some positive change in the world. She began looking up statistics online of rape, and percentages of poverty rate as it occurs in different races, and she began to truly understand just how great the divide was in the country.

What shocked her the most wasn't only the percentage of women that had been raped in the U.S alone for that year but of the amount of spousal abuse cases that had been filed even within the last 5-10 years. She could see that the percentage was drastically increasing over time and more often than not the cases were never reported at all. Once this horrible truth really sunk it was like she felt this burning desire and purpose she had never felt before. For the first time in her life she felt like she was actually born for a purpose and a reason.