A Woman's Flight Chapter 13

After that something in Richard snapped. It was like a piece of his past had been dragged out by his father's visit. Soon after he began to take up drinking. Before his wife had never seen him drink to excess. He might have a beer here and there, but he had never been the type of person just to drink to get drunk. It was actually one of the traits that first drew her to him. It began with a couple of beers here and there until it got to the point to where he was drinking a 6-pack a day plus buying large bottles of wine and vodka and finishing them off in a week.

Richard felt like a piece of himself died when his father returned. It was like his well laid pack of cards and defenses he had built over the years to deal with the trauma and the abuse came crashing down in one swoop. He had no idea how to cope with the emotions and the feelings that were flooding his mind and heart. He was so gripped with pain and confusion and anger it felt like a vice like grip on his heart that just wouldn't let go.

He wanted to run away and to run away from the pain but he just didn't really know how. The more he tried to self medicate with beer and alcohol the worst his depression fell but there was a part of himself that knew he was breaking.

There had always been a part of him that felt he had been tricked into marrying Lizzy and that he never wanted a family to begin with. Richard found himself resenting Lizzy and even Rebecca for trapping him and keeping him from being able to follow his own dreams and wishes. He found himself seriously debating what it would be like if Lizzy were dead and would he be able to start his life over if she died.

He even went as far as starting to imagine different inventive ways to kill her and to make it look like an accident so no one would know. There was even a point when he was seriously considering hiring someone to see if they could pretend to rob the house and kill Lizzy and Rebecca in the process so he could go off free and not have to worry about the finger being pointed at him

The main thing that annoyed Richard more than anything else was that it seemed like she was always tip toeing around him as if she was on broken glass all the time. He would have rather her actually just come out and say something rather than feeling like she was stepping on frozen ice and afraid to say anything or do anything that might upset him every time she was near him or saw him drink or could tell he was falling deeper into thought of despair and depression.