chapter 1

hey guys this is chapter 1 of the book... enjoy !!

Chapter 1

Tracy crushed the sides of the groundnut cracking it open. She then emptied the peas onto her palm in which were already stored a few. She then fished out another groundnut from a bag full of nuts and peels. Cracking it in the same fashion, she shook it trying to push the peas out, caught them with her other hand and watched them add to her collection. There were nineteen of them in all.

Tracy then stretched her hand forward offering the peas to her cousin Vik and to Ferida, her best friend. The rest she tossed into her mouth. It was all that they were left with; the last of their supplies. They would either have to hunt for their dinner or pluck it off some trees. Not their fault that they had brought so little, who knew their one hour speed boat adventure would land them this way? The trio were stranded on this unknown, uninhabited island for the past three days now.

They ran out of jokes and stories. The three of them just sat there motionless in a semicircle watching the plain blue sky. It seemed as though the sun was slowly dipping in for a bath and it was getting darker and colder.

“We should never have come,” whispered Tracy breaking the uncanny silence. The words felt like rough sandpaper on her throat. She needed some water. She did not expect a reply

nor did she get one. Forcing her palms against the earth she pushed herself up and walked towards the dying bonfire. She dipped a finger into the slowly heating water. Noticing that the water was considerably warm and hence safe to drink, she pulled the kettle away from the stand and gave it a slight shake. As Tracy walked back towards Vik and Ferida, she took a few sips of the warm water. It felt so good on her throat. She had never liked the hot water her mother made her drink when ill. Even when she had a cold, she preferred cold water. Tracy enjoyed the few sips and then passed the rest to Vik and Ferida.

After drinking to their ‘full’, the three ventured into the deeper areas of the forest to gather some food. They had no controversy, they left to gather food. They brought back some bananas to the temporary tent they had setup hoping God wouldn’t send showers on it. They ate the bananas and fed the fire with its peels. The fire seemed to like the peels as it quickly consumed them.

Ferida and Tracy went into the tent leaving Vik to guard it. This had to be done day and night. Within moments the two were fast asleep. The joy was not long lived as all of a sudden everything around started to shake. Tracy woke up with a startle and realized it was not the earth that was in tremors, it was Vik, trying to wake her up. It was time to switch roles.

Sitting curled up outside the tent with the moon and stars, boredom�"her sole companion, started to take over. Tracy yawned at the rate of two yawns per minute and tried to keep herself from sleeping.

As she watched the cold waves slap the shore, something in the sea caught her eye. It was a ship or something of that sort.

“A SHIP! A SHIP!” screamed Tracy as she ran into the tent. Vik and Ferida instantly woke up and the three of them rushed out. It was a ship indeed and it seemed to be heading coming towards them. The three waved their hands, jumped up and down and screamed desperately. As the ship grew larger, they held their breath and crossed their fingers smiling at each other. Under no circumstance did they want to lose this God sent opportunity to return home.

As the ship sailed closer and approached the shores, they saw something unusual. Tracy squinted trying to make out what. She blurly saw a man being pushed off the plank!! Was she dreaming? Tracy pointed out the place of action to Vik and Ferida. “You are right. Someone is being pushed off board,” replied Vik. The three instantly decided to hide and watch.

As the three of them looked on, the ship come to a halt and they noticed bizarre decorations�"skulls, bones, teeth and skeletons that hung around the ship. “Must be pirates,” said Vik somewhat scarily. “I bet on it,” whispered Tracy in reply. “There is something creepy about this.”

Three huge and hairy men got off the ship with the help of some ropes. Another man, still inside the ship, threw a large box on to the knee deep water. The three men dragged the box onto the shore and forced it open with a curved knife. Out came from it something totally unexpected: three dead bodies.

Each of the heavily built men pulled out a body and carried it towards the forest; towards Vik, Ferida and Tracy.…

The trio watched the six (three dead and three alive) turn towards the denser part of the forest. The men walked for quite some time and stopped at a small patch of open land devoid of trees or shrubs. Squatting on the floor behind a huge fallen tree, the three slightly lifted their heads as they closely watched the men. The men dug up the earth and threw the three dead men in three separate pits. Then they did a strange thing: they held their nose and jumped into the pits on top of the dead men.

Another man appeared out of nowhere, he was larger and scarier. He covered each pit with mud burying the dead as well as the alive. He then quietly walked off. Tracy shadowed the large man back to the ship and watched till he boarded it and sailed off.

Vik and Ferida came out of hiding and looked at each other with a sigh of relief and disbelief. They were too startled to say anything, shivered and stared at each other in silence.

No one spoke a word after the eerie incident that night and all the three went off to sleep. Tracy rolled on the cold floor as she tried out various postures to have a peaceful sleep. She closed her eyes and recalled how they had landed up there. They had just finished their school and were on a summer vacation. She, her best friend Ferida, and her cousin Vik had planned a short speed boat trip….

She remembered how she had promised her little sister Lily that she would bring her favorite princess doll...

everything seemed well and controlled, the idea was perfect, a one hour speed boat trip in the sea. Tracy led the two, early in the evening, planning to come back before dinner time but something happened and they lost their way. A few hours later they woke up on a beach. As Tracy recollected all that had brought them there, she wondered if they were ever going to get back. She curled up a little more on the bed as she tried to warm herself.

Next morning they sat in the vertices of a triangle facing each other.

They debated on what next; build a boat and sail back home or stay put anticipating help. It was not long before the three reached a consensus, to make their own boat. Either way, they depended heavily on their luck!

They drew up a plan and began to work on it. First up the number, was gathering the raw materials. The three sharpened their knives and wandered into the jungle. A little while later they returned with a sac full of wood.

After dumping the contents next to the bonfire they began to segregate them. They had brought back wood of various shapes and sizes. Most of it was brown or green. Once they picked anything flat, broad and long, Ferida tossed the rest into the fire.

They then sat in a line to catch their breath and as they did so, they distributed the work among themselves.

Tracy offered to make the base while Vik the sides. Ferida would do the front and the oars.

The three spread out and chose spots around the tent where they were most comfortable and dragged their materials along.

They then sat down comfortably and began crafting. For the next few hours the only sound was of the hammer and chisel on the wood, and of the waves that splashed onto the shore.

Once they were done with most of it, they chose to leave the remaining work to the next day. The three gathered, ate a couple of fruits and went off to bed leaving Ferida to guard.

Reviews

[costa siwale]

i like the story, its captivating and particular with the detail, so that's good. a few wording errors but a good read all the same

[Akshay Rawal]

This chapter has a soothing start and the disclosure of the whole situation can be very well accepted. If I may help you with some criticism, The latter part of this chapter loses the personalisation aspect. As far as I have read a written work, writers generally try to acquaint their characters with the reader in order to arouse a sense of involvement, commiseration and self-supposition immediately after everything about the situation ( Kipling's six serving men)is revealed. The gripping part( the entry of that ghastly ship) could have been taken in by the reader with certain indulgence once they had been befriended with the characters. This is a book, so I assume we'll know about the characters as we go along. I may not be aptly relevant, but I wasn't much attracted by the bland description that followed. That is what I felt.

[Barbara Tennyson]

After drinking to their ‘full’ --the standard idiom is: drink their fill, as in: The stag at eve had drunk his fill. Not sure what 'full' is supposed to mean.
Far too many 'then' they did this and such... construction. Try fewer time consuming and wordy but not really very interesting details: With effort, Tracy managed to gather 19 seeds. She gave X 6, Y 7, and kept 6 for herself... .

they sat in the vertices of a triangle facing each other --Yes, three points will define a triangle, but they will also define a circle(try it: lay out three coins. You can enclose the coins in a triangle or a circle. Either form will touch all three coins.) It's just a less fussy and more concise description to say: They sat in a circle facing each other... .

Where did they get their knives? Ditto hammer and chisel?
You might try reading this aloud. That sometimes helps an author locate trouble spots.

[Leslie Philibert]

I have to admit I did`nt read all of this, but I looked at the first paraghraphs and liked them. The way you concentrate on small details to introduce the narrative thread is excellent !

[wordman]

I liked this chapter ,your doing a good job on the book

[Ahena MK]

thanks a loooot !!!!!! glad you liked it !! the book has already been published !! check out the website - procassins.com ... there is a trailer too !

[wordman]

oki will your welcome