The Fountain of GOD

The Fountain of GOD

A Poem by Ahena MK



The fountain of god 

 

The fountain of god 

That begins at the lock

Brings purity from the top

Spreading love till the dock

 

Across the nations people fly 

Leaving everything in their life

From their children and beloved wives

To the fountain of god they fly 

 

A holy dip to take 

Like god's hand they shake 

Another birth, they awake 

Their past sins now fake 

 

Into the river some often throw 

Money for the gods to row 

Their love for holy to show 

How humble they are, really low 

 

Across the river the money flow 

In the water the money glow 

All the poor across the shore 

Run in to get a bucket more 

 

Into the water a bags they hold

All the money, for those it's gold 

No need to work and get things sold 

Thanks to the fountain as the god told 

                                   - Ahena MK 

© 2014 Ahena MK


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Reviews

I read an in between link between God and money.. It is definitely intriguing and well penned. The rhyme gives it pace and makes it flow which doubles up the the content and context of your writing.
A

Posted 9 Years Ago


Surely true, good job ahena. The picture is a beauty!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ahena MK

10 Years Ago

Hohoho .... Thanks muchly mahima .... :)
mahima

10 Years Ago

Your welcome dear.........
Splendid writing & so stimulating to read
anne

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ahena MK

10 Years Ago

Glad you liked it ... ;)
Ahena
THe photograph helped me get a clear picture across. It is fun to play with rhymes and syllables and I think your poem worked well. Good for you.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ahena MK

10 Years Ago

Thanks for reading ...
Very well written I can say..because everytime i read your work i find them deeply stimlulating yet hard to understand the depth and sanctity of the lines..May be I have to be older and wise enough for that..
Anyway the picture of rich and poor is perfect!! Great work!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ahena MK

10 Years Ago

thanks for the time and wonderful review !!!!! glad you liked !!
ahena :)
Constructive: I would avoid using "that" as an interjection; the 1st two stanzas do not match the last formation. They are completely different styles (unless this is what you intended and this would be your finesse). I really like the 3rd and 4th stanza: "like wrapping paper" : . Punctuation will complete this flow, just a touch of word variations and It's done! However, by leaving this alone and NOT changing anything, will leave a milestone of your writing ability into your timeline.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ahena MK

10 Years Ago

Thanks for the review !! ill look into it !! and also the first two stanzas are intentional ..... th.. read more
"Brings purity from the top
Spreading love till the dock

Across the nations people fly"

Splendid....................

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ahena MK

10 Years Ago

thank you !!
Ahena MK

10 Years Ago

thank you !!
Sami Khalil

10 Years Ago

You are welcome...:).................
Really good!! Just mindblowing, just awsome.no word

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ahena MK

10 Years Ago

glad you liked it !!
Your spirit and faith pour from the fountain of your words.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ahena MK

10 Years Ago

Hahaha ... Thanks

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Added on February 22, 2014
Last Updated on February 22, 2014


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