Haunting

Some of my habits reflect

a darker me.

Walking past the department isle 

In HEB

I start acting on impulse

and I grab 3 packs of blades

10 in each.

I grab a lot so in case they are taken

I always have more.

Just in case.

Or, when I look down

at a plate of food

A voice in my head starts calculating

I don't know how

to turn the numbers

off.

Also, I was trapped in the remnants of a bad memory

of my rape

and I started crying and I ran past 

my staff.

He grabbed me, to ask what was wrong

but

I started fighting and screaming

even though

he wasn't the one.

Sometimes I feel like

a whole nother person.
the ghost of a past me

lingering in the background.

Haunting.