So Sick

Tired of the daily toil..?

Tried to sail away,

But my hope splintered 

Thousands of pieces

Tried to save them,

But each cut my skin

Just leave them be 

Ripped open, expecting to find hope

Even the shallowest of truths 

To cling to 

Instead finding black

The ghastly phantom

Chokes me

So sew me up

I'm tired

Sick of it

Want to feel something

Real

True

Tired of having nothing

Feeling numb

Sick of tears

The only thing I'm made of

Will it ever run dry?

This ocean of tears

Drowning me

With its isolation

This mountain of hurt

Crushing me 

With its brutality

Maybe my tears, my hurt,

Will come together 

Create an island

To find refuge

A haven for my mind

Instead this little land

Kills me

Loneliness, 

Those icy fingers rip my heart out

That violent island

Maybe I'll go to the shore

Swim far away

Create hope anew another day

But my arms ache

Legs sink

I drown 

Lungs fail

Mayday

What is worse,

Choking in that deserted isle, 

Or drowning in those accursed tears? 

After all, it's what almost killed me

Author's Note

Open to critique/suggestions. Also open to ideas for what the picture shall be :)

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

thanks again and hi again many thanks for entry into my other competition.
enjoyed your write, dont underestimate your talents here or as a person. good luck

[barleygirl]

Your poem is uncomfortably realistic. I can’t decide whether to love it for how honest your words are being expressed, or to kinda scoot away, repelled by the negative outlook. The hopelessness is almost too much to take. One gets the idea that no matter what this narrator tried, the result would be the same – horribly dismal. But the reason I can’t reject this unrelenting hopelessness is becuz of the artfully honest way you express yourself. This is some of the most creative ways I’ve ever seen hopelessness painted. Usually it’s blah & bleak. But you’ve actually put a lot of thought into observing & recording how it can feel to be going thru the ups & downs of trying to find something to cling to throughout life. Good job, even tho it’s a hard message for me to like! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

love this thanks for asking me to be your friend my pleasure you are a great interesting writer, look fwd to reading more

[Correspondence]

Thank you ! I have found this site very helpful; I am glad to be able to contribute to it.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

im sure its helped a lot of us
glad to see you here

[Correspondence]

Many thanks