Jack & Jill

What happen to Jack & Jill after they went up the hill?

Jack & Jill

 

Just us two

on a rendezvous

up into the hills

as we brew

passions through and through

touching Nature’s thrills.

 

Though we’re true

to our points-of-view

and their lovely frills,

we are new

to what we pursue

without any skills.

 

Whoop-de-do

in grass wet with dew,

lined with daffodils

where a few

poison oak leaves strew

causing itching ills.

 

Residue

underneath each shoe

breaks both of our wills.

Filled with rue

from this bugaboo

our love turns to chills.

Reviews

[Perkele.7885]

We are going to remember our trip up the hill for all the fun that we had
and all the high temperatures and itchy, itchy feet as well.

[Rene Salinas]

Well talk about deconstruction. I am all things music Aethereal and this reminded me when a punk bandtakes a pop song and the outcome Britney Spears gone punk, Oops I did it again played at 200bpm. So in here is not anymore the Jack & Jll I read to my kids and not PG any longer becuase Jack has attitude and Jill does too. And they have no problems getting into relations and situations that may require a lot more discerning than the other ones used to have.

I reckon mother would be more than vexed!!!

Thankyou

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Rene! We all remember things that we've done as naive children that we would have never done if we had known better. We learn to avoid fire by getting too close to it for comfort.

[Matching Socks]

Thank you for the good morning laugh!
Beware the rendezvous in the hills. :)
That is ALL that I'll say on that.
Enjoyed this one. :)

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Ance! The "hills have eyes".

[Matching Socks]

Uh oh.
I wish I knew that before....

[David Scott]

You are a cheeky sort of poet. Ha.
"Nature Lovers Beware" sounds like a great title for another write!
Too funny and probably too common an occurrence.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, David! Yes be careful cuz itchy danger lurks in those hills.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Ahh, I love reading your writing Aethereal, the rhyme in this whimsical write brought a much needed smile today. Loved the lines..." Whoop-de-do/ in grass wet with dew" But I am sure you knew that my nilly willy nature would gravitate to those light hearted words. Another amazing piece that I truly enjoyed!!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Kalypso! Whoop-de-do makes for good mouse trap bait.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

haha, oh you make me chuckle xoxoxo :D

[Pryde Foltz]

Residue
underneath each shoe
breaks both of our wills.
Filled with rue
from this bugaboo
our love turns to chills

The heights of love are terrible place from which to drop. Great one.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Pryde! It all comes down to that natural brain chemistry that all social animals possess. Cats, dogs, wolves, doves, they all have the same addiction, a tug-o-war between attraction and repulsion. Some lovers remain as planets revolving around their star, never touching.

[Pryde Foltz]

Very true.

[Stephen]

~~ Now I got a time to spend some time over your pages ~~ Umm,this poem`s nice as usual. I think, it`s too written in some "Meters" .. but i`m not sure. Theme`s about love and your words are all what make me smile. Jack & Jill love story`s now well captured in your rhythmic words with the great flow & precious outlines. I love reading this poem!!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Stephen! All lines with the same rhyme sound are of the same meter. 1/0/1 three syllable meter; 1/0/1/0/1 five syllable meter; 1 = stressed ; 0 = unstressed

[Stephen]

My pleasure! Sometimes, Reading your stuffs meaning walking over the garden of Eden indeed .. i`m always blessed to reading your stuffs. Your stuffs are a bit funny, hilarious, thoughtful & so, perspective ... but believe me, your this "Meters" and "Syllable" .. Ahh .. it`s totally outta my mind ... lol but yeah, now I got some time so, i`d love to learn this talent WITHIN THIS MONTH .. I don`t want to delay the time learning this one so, yeah .. I think, now daily practicing`d help me to understand this "Meters" and yeah .. your help`d always much bigger than my understanding and i`m sure, you`d always help me having these skills right in the palm of my hands .. Am I right? :)

[Aethereal]

Just keep at it because metered rhyme is somewhat like rug weaving. Rugs are weaved using patterns of colors, and poems are written using patterns of stress accents and non-stressed accents. Rhythm is much more important than rhyme. You don't need to rhyme metered poetry if you don't want to. Just keep a flowing rhythmic pattern among the syllables.

[Sami Khalil]

I love your writes for so many reasons. I learn and enjoy at the same time even if it is whimsical...Excellent...:)...........

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Sami! Whimsical poetry provides contrast.

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...Muchly...:)................

[Bright Ocean Star]

I love this!! It is enchanting to revisit a beloved childhood favorite and wonder, what happened to them? Thank you for this delightful read, oh most gracious Aethereal.... wonderful write, my friend...

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review!