Nature's Rage

Nature's rage during a Summer rain storm.

Nature’s Rage

 

From my porch, I hear their small

tapping liquid feet.

Pitter patter, raindrops fall

fast and bittersweet.

 

Traffic screech’s to a crawl

on my flooded street

as a somber murky pall

merges with concrete.

 

Nature’s raging protocol

lifts the Summer’s heat

from embroiled urban sprawl

pounding it with sleet.

 

On this day, I watch them all

drowning in conceit

sinking under waves of gall

suffering defeat.

Reviews

[MsJewel]

I love the images you have created here...I could hear the pitter patter of raindrops.

:) Julie

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, MsJewel! Ah, yes those tiny liquid raindrop feet tap-dancing to their music.

[icelandicblue]

I love summer thunderstorms. I could almost smell the earth and concrete when it is inundated with a heavy rain. I enjoyed your poem.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, icelandicblue! Yes, there's a unique smell to wet earth and concrete.

[wordman]

well the form that you wrote this in is right on and I love thunder storms so indeed I loved the poem
I have never tried any form per say I need to study up on them and try some

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, wordman! It seems that everyone on here loves thunderstorms.

[wordman]

I have always loved storms and your welcome how do you work with children

[Chris Micha]

I love this! I am a huge fan of weather/storms and this really struck me. Very beautiful job!! :)

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Christian! I'm happy that you enjoyed it.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I love the rhyming of this piece. Nice wordplay. Is this a certain form of poetry? There's a constant rhyme scheme in all verses.

We really can't control the wrath of nature... Clever!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Dhaye! This is just Classical Poetry on steroids. Most people would consider this rhyme scheme impossible to accomplish if I didn't have hundreds of examples of it to prove that it isn't impossible. It’s in meter. It has perfect rhyme words. A given rhyme word is only used once within the poem. No words are forced. Rhymes overlap. The same two rhyme sounds are used throughout the poem. The poem tells a logical story. The poem goes on for sixteen lines. Try one if you dare!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Aww, it's difficult. Only two sounds throughout the poem...I'm not sure. But it's a challenge...so I'll try my best. If ever I can make one, I'll send a read request only to you, so that you can comment. LOL. If ever...

And you're welcome here.

[Aethereal]

Try it, but don't drive yourself crazy doing so. As far as I know, I'm the only one on Earth out of seven billion people who has succeeded at doing this. Not even the Classical Poets would have dared. You’ll be the only other one if you do it.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Okay, I'm challenged. 7-5-7-5, ABAB from top to bottom. LOL. I 'll try not because I want to be the second...and besides I don't know on earth if there are other writers who are doing this in other sites or in their own papers. LOL. I'll try tomorrow. If I can't make it, I'll tell you still.

[Aethereal]

Good luck! This style is a form of complex simplicity. I have searched the world for poets who write as I do, and found none. You're about to find out how complex simplicity is.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Okay, I decided to post this one I made here. I don't know if this makes sense. The concept also came from your review in my piece "He Loves Me". LOL.

"LOVE"

They say love's a triggered mood
Did I trigger it?
Love me back? I can't conclude
Do I have to quit?

Do you feel love as I could?
I wish, there we meet
Nothing should be fake and fraud
No one likes deceit.

Do not wear a veil or hood
Even for a bit
Show me truth, please don't be rude
Love is not a s**t.

I just wished to love you, dude
Here, to where I sit
If you feel the same for good
I could feel complete.

[Aethereal]

The rhymes are not all exact. You are not using the same two sounds. Not a bad try though. In time it will get easier. I just wrote my version on this theme on my site. It's called "Love's Trigger" Compare mine with yours.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Can you mention what words should be altered? I'll see if I can fix it.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Ah, okay. Verse 2 has to be altered.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see this as people drowning in the rain of their own conceit...

using the allegory of nature works well...and i like the irony of the "pitter patter" which ordinarily wouldn't be associated with a violent storm, but more of a light sun shower.

nicely done through your "storm" of words.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for you detailed review, jacob! Yes, they are drowning in their own conceit. I thought about the word pitter patter before I placed it in my poem and so I looked it up in my dictionary. My dictionary says that it’s a rapid succession of tapping sounds. My intent was to have the reader think of raindrops as small children of Nature calling forth their rage.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

good idea...and looking at it that way, i see rage...i have just always associated it with the Cascades song "Rhythm of the Rain" and the background vocals..."pitter patter, pitter patter" and meaning more of a rhythmic beat...but either way it can work for the reader.

[Aethereal]

I did have the sleet "pounding" down upon the city. I'm going to enjoy all those Summer rainstorms ahead even though others may not.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing description of the storm. I saw the tornadoes of Georgia an the Western states. We cannot control the storm. I saw thunder carve a tree in half. I enjoyed the poem. Create good vision and thoughts.Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Coyote! Nature always wins in the long term. When we lose sight of Nature, we lose sight of ourselves. We must learn to live in harmony with Nature, as well as with each other.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree with the logic.