Summer Storm

A description of a Summer's eve storm.

Summer Storm

 

On this somber Summer's eve

comes a distant thunderhead

as celestial spangles cleave

to the skyline's looming dread.

 

Soon, the rising moon shall grieve

as dark shrouds begin to spread

till bright beams that we receive

are replaced by murk instead.

 

Evening storms tend to deceive

through those tears they mean to shed

testing all that we believe

as they put our stars to bed.

 

Chaos has its golden thread

for I see a quaint reprieve.

From this quagmire, lightning's bled.

Light and Darkness interweave.

Reviews

[zainul]

Wonderful depiction of summer storm in amazing rhymes.
We have summer storms under the name,"Kal Boshekhi" which may be translated as "Nor'wester".
They are quite dangerous and cause great destruction within a very short time usually during the evenings.
The air stops blowing and the temperature rises to some suffocating level.
It is really a frightening experience for most of us.
Your effort is great and reminds me of our "Kal Boshekhi" storms.
Thanks for sharing,Aethereal.:)

[Aethereal]

Thanks for giving me your rain storm point-of-view from the other side of the Earth, zaimul! Most of our snow storms are from the northwest, and our rain storms from the southwest.

[zainul]

You are most welcome,dear friend.:)

[Frieda P]

I like the way you have colored dark & light in this one, they compliment one another in a graceful manner, love a summer storm....

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your insightful review, Frieda! The relationship between light & dark has always fascinated me, and that's why children love to play with flashlights, watch fireworks, or view the midnight sky.

[Frieda P]

Not only children Aethereal, always a pleasure!

[Aethereal]

Perhaps it's better if most of us never grow up in some ways whereby we look upon each day as a new experience unlike any other.

[Frieda P]

I'll agree with you there, especially where it has to do with the wonderment of life....

[Tom]

Striking images in the literal and metaphorical sense used to great effect about the looming, ominous arrival of a summer storm, its effects and then its relieved passing !

Wonderful nature event inspired poem once more !

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Tom! I love those Summer storms.

[KAOlmsted]

Ha...why am I thinking PMS? *laugh* Probably the whole "summer's eve" bit and the ensuing turmoil xD Cute how you changed up the rhyme in the last stanza. Do yourself a favor, though, and stop taking yourself too seriously ;-) It ain't all about angst. Sometimes it's just about saying what needs to be said...and...dude...do you rhyme in real life? Just saying. (free verse is very liberating)...Good work here. A lot of head scratching went into this. I would love to see a stream of consciousness piece from you (NO RHYMING *laugh*) Really nice to meet you, dude...

-kimmer

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, KAOlmsted! A poem isn't a short story, but it may be defined as such whereby free verse and Stream of Consciousness is introduced. Turning short stories into poems isn't my style. Each poet should develop their own style. No style is better or worse than any other. If you notice, you will find that I have a unique style whereby:

(1) Each rhyme word is only used once throughout a given poem.
(2) All rhymes are perfect rhymes without different endings.
(3) Rhyme sounds are overlapped within each quatrain.
(4) No rhyme words are forced.
(5) Each line is in /0/0/0/ seven syllable meter whereby / is an accent and 0 is a non-accent. (I use other meter arrangements at times as well as rhyming refrains.)

[KAOlmsted]

blah blah blah...you really enjoy your own voice *laugh* I'm 43 years old and have been writing for a very.......very........very long time ;-) Take some advice. Or. Don't. I thought that's why we were all here. Meh. Anyway. Have fun in the cafe. I'll see you around. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two ;-)

[Aethereal]

I think that you're doing very well with your style. It's just that I have my own. I enjoy reading your style of poetry, and it is no better or worse than my own. I don't expect you to write in my style, nor do I want you too. Keep doing what you're doing. It's great.

[Catlen]

Wonderful choice of words! Well Done

[S.L.H]

Beautiful words, rhyming flawlessly. Well done!

[Aethereal]

Thanks, S.L.H.!

[Aethereal]

Some summer storms can be really refreshing... like your work!
Beautiful dancing rhythm, great word choices, I felt this one.

- Elisa

[Aethereal]

Thanks, Elisa! Poetry is all about cadence and metaphor. Brevity comes into play too. Even an epic poem is just a series of interconnected short poems.

You're most welcome friend!

[Angi]

I love the rush of a good summer storm! Well done! Angi~

[Aethereal]

Thanks, Angi! Then is when Thor comes out to play with is hammer and his thunderbolts.

[MeganRuth]

I love the metaphoric imagery in this. It's so beautiful, well done!

[Aethereal]

Thanks, MeganRuth!

[Rahul]

wow, you've shown me the view of storms...lol...loved this piece. This's a great write and i loved this cuz..i love storm much especially "summer storms.." HAHAH :)
great write, keep writing :)
100/100

[Aethereal]

Thanks, Rahul! Summer storms fill us with excitement.

[Rahul]

yeah, you well said, but hey, how you got an idea to write only this on this ?

[Aethereal]

I got my idea from all the thunderstorms outside of my window that have been taking place all week.

[Rahul]

OK.... after a one month i'm responding..lol sorry for the delay...
so, how much time you took writing this piece ???

[Aethereal]

Once I'm inspired to write a poem is only takes me an hour or so to write one. Everything comes together in my mind as once. It's like magic. A poem will often float about in my mind for weeks before I sit down and write it during a time when I'm not thinking about anything else. It's all about focus.

[Rahul]

Okey Dokey... But i take too many time to make my writes.. yeah, sometimes i make in 10 minutes but sometimes its' take 1000 minutes... lol

[Aethereal]

If you just let your poem float about in your mind for a time, then sooner or later you reach a poetic tipping point whereby your words fall upon the paper in proper order without any struggle at all. Words escape from their cages like wild cats whose time has come.

[Rahul]

yess......you're right :)
Words escape from their cages like wild cats RUNS AFTER A MOUSE :)read moreyess......you're right :)
Words escape from their cages like wild cats RUNS AFTER A MOUSE :)
so, i always jot my words down on a paper... i'm trying to write my new write..... i'll try to upload but now here... i like short writings to write... and you ???