Rose & Rain

This is a rhyming Etheree that contemplates a rose in need of rain.

Rose & Rain      ( a rhyming Etheree )

 

Rain

take reign

o'er the plain,

and don't refrain

from ending the pain

of my Rose on the wane

languishing from thirsty strain.

Please cloudy gods, help her again

showing care and love as you maintain

my Rose by sprinkling wealth on her domain.

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

I see you use the same rhymes, but you've used it more consistently than I have. The syllables are correct. Meter takes a back seat in such a poem because of the increasing number of syllables per line. You have, I think, understood the essence of the etheree. In a way, contemplating this, I think rain is the best example of a subject that can be propounded using this form. Starting from a drizzle, and then becoming a downpour. Maybe a double etheree, one normal and another inverted juxtaposed could produce a better cascading effect of a drizzle starting, reaching its crescendo, and gently waning again.
I'm happy and flattered a poem of mine could inspire this. Thank you!

[Aethereal]

Thanks again for the inspiration, Abdul! This poem was an experiment that you led me into. All I did was try to improve on the one that you did, and this is what I got. Your poem had all the essential elements to inspire mine. Your new idea would be best done using a non-rhyme etheree. Why don't you try it?

[NeiL ArandA]

I'm here Aethereal. Reading the featured review makes my take irrelevant . This is nicely penned piece. Thanks for sharing

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Neil! This was an experimental poem at the time as I'm always applying my intelligence to do new things.

[NeiL ArandA]

I see .. You really sharpened it . Like iron sharpens another iron.

[The Daisy]

Forgive me for my deduction but are you madly in love with a woman (Rose), Aethereal? I am pretty sure you (Rain) and only you can quench the Rose's thirst. Lovely!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your insightful comment, Day's Eye! This could be a metaphor for that.

[Keith]

Clever and a nice read.

[Aethereal]

Thanks, Keith!

[Eddy Jones]

This is my first whole day on here and I seriously enjoyed this gem.
Here's to wishing you a greatday.
Eddy.

[Aethereal]

Thanks, Eddy! You have a great day too.