Jagged Edges

A Poem by Aerie

We spend too much time hiding from others

I like to see the jagged edges
The ugly, the broken, the cracked
The parts of us that aren't smoothed over
And carefully shalaqued

I like to see the jagged edges
The sinful, the shameful, the scared
Our insecurities, failures, mistakes,
The ways we've been unfair

In our hearts we are all sinners
In our souls we're all depraved
In the way we think of others
In the nameless things we crave

And we know that we're all broken
So we don't show anyone else
We hide from parents, our teachers, our friends
And most of all ourselves

We tell ourselves that we're alone
Alone, messed up, and dying
But all it takes to break that lie
Is to hear another crying

If we show our jagged edges
Then the people around us will know
True courage is showing that you're broken
True love to step off your throne

If we all reveal our brokenness
Then we can stand together
And we'll all still be messed up and jagged
But others will make it better

© 2017 Aerie

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emipoemi

An amazing poem with an amazing message. Your rhythm at times gets a bit wordy (most notably in the last stanza line 3), but the way you work your musicality kind of bridges that nicely. I would, however, make a couple of suggestions which you should take into consideration:

1. "In our hearts we are all sinners" would be better as "we all are sinners" given the "all" would thus hit a down beat and echo the "all" in the following line, and it also has better sound and flow.

2. "Alone, messed up, and dying" would be better without the "alone" since it's in this case an unnecessary repetition of the "alone" at the end of the first line, and instead either pick another adjective or amplify the "dying" with a "simply" or "swiftly" or some other word that deepens the gash made by the stabbing wound of "dying". This is otherwise fantastic, and I applaud you for it. Well done!