Never the Leader

Speech for Toastmasters Club

I was never the leader. I was never the leading light hence I was always the member, the back support. Elementary days where the days were, I saw and envied the members of the supreme student government.  I was really envious of how they participate and the contributions they make to every school activity. At high school I attempted to join the apex, but the members of the pack don’t want me. I remember asking my homeroom adviser. “Ma’am, what is wrong with me? Am I not trustworthy enough? Can’t I lead like them? Am I a bad student? Can’t I serve? Am I that bad?” She just smiled and said that maybe I wasn’t meant to be leader, but to be an obedient and useful member. That hit hard. So, I stopped. I just stopped being envious of people on the top. College days where no difference, I participated as a member. Contributing something every now and then. I was always running the task. The years of being so used of accepting tasks from house to school did really affected me in some ways or another.

But can you believe, a decade of long desire became so possible in the most unexpected time and place. There is nothing impossible with God indeed. After graduating, I have accepted a job for the position of operations assistant in the city’s largest cinema unit. The job entails me to give out and delegate tasks for the unit to operate. The biggest challenge came, I was not fully equipped for the role. The first month became a struggle. I came home some nights crying for being so stupid and helpless for my new role. I even went on googling what good leadership is. I was that helpless that to my surprise, our supervisor was silently observing me and assessing the areas that I could improve. She later suggests that I must accompany her in her front row shifts so I can observe and she can train me how to delegate tasks to our butlers, cashiers, usher porters and ticket sellers. As she always says, “Aera, walay leader na kamao na dayun tanan.” My past desire to be one doesn’t drive me anymore rather her encouragement, her words gave the right amount of spark to my heart. A week into my training I was getting the beat and rhythm of the operations. Task owners under my supervision were very diverse yet kind people that leading makes it even more challenging. I do the daily huddle where I will give out general task for today and yesterday’s good and for improvement points. My supervisor also taught me how to handle angry customers. This my friends, I tell you, you will need all of your life’s worth patience. As the old saying goes, practice takes time and lot of courage.

As soon as I have the balls to take the lead, I did my very best. Running the operations is like a tango. It takes two to dance. It needs a new level of focus and a whole lot of patience.  My 8-year-old version of a leader never really happened but the leader that I never though of, who I worked for, happened.

To Ma’am Princess and Sir Troy, you’ve taught me so well that words can’t explain how thankful I am. You’ve placed me under pressure, pushed me into my limits, filled me with every bit of knowledge that you have and turned me into the operation’s assistant that I never thought I could be. I am very grateful.

Come to think of it, the leader that I have dreamed was driven with wrong desire. Maybe that’s why God never gave it. God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.