Filius est pars patris

Mother please forgive me I just had to get out all my pain and suffering Now that I am done, remember I will always love you I'm your son

(i) The Burning

Woe to the feelings that I feel in my mind...
Trying to escape an exterior by hiding inside
Dreams fade, into this nightmare I awake
The lungs of hell are filled with hate

(ii) Trapped inside an Aura of Sadness

Beneath the burning of my ominous reality
Remains the ashes of my father’s mind
Post traumatic misery rapes my sanity
Hells fire still cooks away at the core of my plight

I am choking on the ashes, these memories
The burning, the yearning, the evil that altered our lives
To inhale and then to exhale hell
To f**k pain and give birth to death

Choking...on the ashes
Of this memory

Cremating the essence of life
Creating the presence of death

(Dear Daddy...)

I’ve often wondered what went through
The fractured mind that’s been punishing you
Conversations you must’ve had
Inside of your tormented head

Nightmares show me what you wanted
Our burning flesh within your vomit

(Daddy, are you sick?! Where does it hurt?)
(No, son. I am okay, I've just been cursed)

The cremation of life with its ashes in mud
The creation of death and the mourning in blood

(And now...)

I hear my mother scream at night
Flashbacks of blood and fire
Choking on the scabs of emotional scars
Burning chills within my heart

Through all this pain and misery
I've been raped by insanity
(But) determination pulls me through
For your soul, punishment is due...

With an aching pain in my throat
Dolorous rage has been my antidote
With hatred running through my veins
Only ashes of your memory remains...

Choking on the... ashes that cause my misery
Stabbing at the... wound that bleeds only sympathy
Bleeding on the... death that lives for eternity
Choking on the... ashes that burns my sanity

I am choking on the ashes
Of my past / present life misery
Every breath that I take, I hate
I inhale hell, exhale death

I’ve been choking on the ashes, the memories
Bleeding and grieving, I’ve prayed for release
But through art, I was given a new love for life
I’ve been trapped inside the grey, but I will survive?

Choking on thy fathers ashes
Trapped inside an aura of sadness
Vomiting out thy father’s ashes
Escaping his altar of madness

(iii) The Taste of Smell

No forgiveness in my eyes
I can taste the smell of this demise

I’m choking on the ashes of these memories
I’m dying within the ashes of my past life misery

(iv) The Dried Vomit (Aftermath)

If the father is indeed part of the son, how do I escape me?
I’ve prayed to the angel of doom to release thee
I fear nothing but the fear of fear itself, insanity
I hate the world that can’t relate to the hate that I’ve felt... misanthropy!!!!

Once the dust has settled and the vomit has dried
With slit wrists and a broken heart at least I know I tried...