Flowers

A short conversation between two people.

They laid together, in bed, staring at the ceiling. The stars stuck on there had an afterglow that was starting to fade out. He turned to her to answer the question

"I wouldn't mind if she bought me flowers."

"You want a girl to buy you flowers?"

"Yea...why not? I mean its kind of a shame that when you are not a girl, nobody buys you flowers...unless you are dead, which sucks."

"Aren't you worried people will think you are gay?"

"Who cares, the point of a girl buying me flowers shows that she is...creative...or different."

"Unconventional"

"Yea, but not in that tranny unconventional sort of way."

"Right"

"I just wish I knew someone like that."

"Just someone who would buy you flowers?"

"Well not only that, but the whole mentality behind that, I want to find it in a person."

"You've been looking?"

"Sort of, just not in the right places I think."

"Well good luck with that."

"Thank you."

There was a silence between the two. There fingers brushed together ever so lightly. Each in their own mind was wondering if they had just felt the other.

"So how do you know I am not one of those types of girls?"

"I don't actually...but I hope you will let me stick around and find out."

"Sure...why not?"

They went back to looking at the ceiling. The fingers came together again, this time, they stayed together. He panicked. She smiled.

She thought about it, and decided, she would buy him flowers.

Reviews

[JenJen]

This is such a sweet and simple moment!!! I love the dialogue--it just flows. If you wanted to expand it I think you could easily add more of their gestures (how it felt when their fingers touched, their postures, facial expressions) to convey the distance or closeness of their relationship. I like that there isn't any preliminary info but I think you could add dimension to the story by revealing or hinting at where the relationship was before this new turn. Overall amazing though!!

[Aeneas Barton]

thank you. I have debated how much more to add not only about their dynamic, but also more of their physical and emotional aspects as they lie there together. Personally, I like the dialogue of this story but have always thought the entire piece to be rather flat, as a whole. I just wasn't sure how far to go with some of the characters. But I do eventually plan on revisiting this and making changes.

[JenJen]

I definitely wouldn't call this flat--as a reader I can both identify with and read into the characters. I think maybe an indirect ending could make you feel more comfortable. Right now she's determined to do what he thinks he wants but maybe she can have reservations as well or perhaps she doesn't think that's really what he wants--maybe he really wants a bouquet of balloons for example. Or a cake made out of gummi bears. Those both carry the added symbolism of childhood and could express a deeper character dynamic.

[Aeneas Barton]

hhhm.... something to consider. I ended it with her deciding she would buy him flowers, not so much her actually buying the flowers, but more being the unconventional type. Hmmm... perhaps something more indirect is needed as you say.

[Nicholas]

Beautiful and simple. I enjoyed reading this piece.

[Alice Patinkin]

"He panicked. She smiled."
That made me grin. :)

Also, have you heard of a song called "Flowers" by Emilie Simon?

[T. Val]

This is excellent. Such an out of the ordinary conversation, but it works. A woman who will do this is special and one of a kind. It is NOT gay for a guy to recieve flowers from a lovely woman. Good work.

[DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf]

Aw, this was so cute...it put the biggest smile on my face :) And I don't see any problem with a girl buying a guy flowers. Flowers symbolize a lot, not even depending what type of flower it is. I would buy a guy flowers and not care if he thought it was weird. Haha. So cute!

[Aeneas Barton]

glad you enjoyed it

[Aeneas Barton]

P.S. I hope one day you do buy flowers for a man, and that he enjoys them!

[DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf]

Thanks! And yeah, I'll be sure to buy a guy flowers one day :) Most definitely!