Will you be there?

about wanting to tell an old friend about something that only i can tell them and trust them but afraid after years of separation that person wont listen or rebuild that lost friendship.

I've said before but time is cruel
It takes life, and places us under its rule
I want to be friends again
But your slicing words get under my skin

Do you hate me or are you always a prick?
I don't know what happened, I didn't pick
To end our friendship of course
As life goes on, it just gets worse

I'm not as I appear, not the same anymore
You'll find me a different person than before
Will you accept me? I don't know
I'll take a chance, I'm gonna tell you so,

Be respectful for my new personality
Don't strike me down, it's hard to face reality
I promise to you I'm not lying
If you laugh, I will start crying

It's because I'm afraid to be alone
Expressing myself is already beyond my comfort zone
Learning how you'll respond scares me
Under the ice, maybe you will see

That it's Ashley, the one you'll remember
Our friendships on the line so maybe you could surrender?
Do you have so much pride that you can't be my friend?
I want to restart this moment before it permanently ends...

Author's Note

This poem IS about me.