You Da One

My love is your love; your love is mine...

Cody Jay Chapman is in love. It’s been obvious since junior year in high school, but he tried to convince himself that such thing couldn’t happen. Not to him. Not at that moment in his life. He had so much to deal with as it was, and love didn’t fit in his agenda. So he blocked it out; for five years.

Instead, he filled his time with music, sports, school work, and his job; yet, those brown eyes haunted him throughout the years, and today he has set his mind upon coming to terms with his feelings.

 

Sure he had one-night stands every now and then after the shows his band had; and a couple of girlfriends when he tried the “dating” thing because of his friends pushing his buttons about it. But in the back of his mind, those deep brown eyes never ceased to make him go breathless, skip a heartbeat or two, feel butterflies in his stomach, stutter, and sweat hot and cold. Thank God is summer, he thinks, I’ll just blame my awkwardness on the heat.

And there they were those brown eyes that still made Cody Jay act like the teenager he was when he first met them; some things just never change, he thinks, and love is one them. He cannot hide it any longer. There’s no way he can, even if he tried to, not that he would. It’s been long enough. He’s ready for love; he needs love in his life, he decided, and the one he wants it’s always been the one he ran away from, but never forgot.

 

“HI.” Cody Jay walks toward the entrance to welcome the couple that had just come in, a smile from ear to ear on his face, a twinkle in his bright blue eyes, the sun making his shaggy blond hair shine just enough to match his tanned skin. “I’m so glad that you made it!” He adds shamelessly, no more hiding his emotions.

“Hey there!”

And that accent! Cody Jay had forgotten the Colombian accent that made him go sleepless some of his school nights. He takes a deep breath, as if his life depends on it. Breathe, he continues to remind himself, Breathe.

“We just finished playing, but we still have one more set coming.” Cody Jay chuckles, nervously. “Hope you like it.”

Out of nowhere the toddler he saw coming in, holding the hand of the love of his life, runs up to him and kicks him on the shin.

“Hey buddy, what’s going on?” He exclaims, squatting to talk to the kid. “You want something to drink? I have OJ for big boys like you.”

The toddler runs back to hold his mother and hide behind her.

“Uhm, this is my friend Fernanda and her baby Alexander. Guys, this is CJ.”

Cody Jay had also forgotten the nickname that he was given during his high school years. There are quite a few things that he continued to suppress. No need to remember unnecessary facts. Yet, it all keeps coming back the more he stares at those brown eyes. He remembers the black hair, the perfect height, the soft smile, and the loud contagious laugh, the smell when he passed by, the way he was looked at when thought wasn’t being watched �" all those little things that at seventeen, Cody Jay did not know how to handle and was scared to face because of the way they made him feel. It was a good feeling, but he couldn’t afford to keep them. His entire life relied on what decisions he made then, or so he thought. And he walked away, he pushed away, he thought he moved on, he gave up, he realized he couldn’t fight himself anymore, it was pointless. That transition took him a few years, but he’s there now ready to commit himself and do what makes him happy.

“….okay, well, you boys behave now.” Fernanda exclaims when Cody Jay just stares at her, not knowing what else to say. She picks up Alexander and heads to the tables next to the pool to unload her bag and get ready to get her tan on, which was the reason she decided to join her friend Javier. Not because he was going to hook up with the hottie from high school, she joked over and over on the way to the pool.

 

Is it obvious? Cody Jay thinks as Fernanda walks away. 

Can everyone tell? Does anyone care?

“Javier, I have something to tell you.”

The brown eyes quit wandering around to set on him, and sparks fly all over the place. He smiles, and Cody Jay’s voice breaks like when he was thirteen. He then realizes that he’s only wearing beach shorts and sandals; and the voices in his head start going off:  Is Javier checking him out like he did in high school? Has he noticed the tattoo on the side of his torso? Does he dig abs? Because his abs are not that amazing, but he’s working on it. Was that a glance at his armpits? Is it because he doesn’t shave them? Is he disgusted by his pit hair? It’s not that nasty hairy, if you compare them to his band mates. And that fine trail of soft hair that goes from his belly button down to the inside of his trunks, would he mind? What if this… what if that… what if… what if…

“Cody!” Javier exclaims making him come back to reality.

“Sorry… Uhm, I know it’s been like, forever now, but…” Cody Jay’s heart speeds up by the second. Breathe, he continues to remind himself. “I’m sorry, I had this speech all ready, but my mind just went blank, and…”  He cracks his knuckles, chuckling. “You want something to drink?”

Javier accepts the drink --maybe that will help him spit out whatever he’s got to say.

“Here you go, children.” Zach, bartending at the moment, exclaims as he hands them the drinks. “Don’t get too f**k up, bro. We still have another set.”

“It’s just to warm up.”

“Cool.”

“This is Javier, by the way.” Cody Jay introduces his best friend, and drummer of the band.

“You mean you are THE Javier?” Zach asks quickly, a playful smile on his face.

“Uhm,” Javier blushes, not knowing exactly what Zach means. “I am Javier, that’s for sure. Now, THE Javier, I’m not sure I follow.”

“Thanks, bro. You’ve done enough.” Cody Jay exclaims, taking charge of the situation for once, and that makes him more confident to go on.

“S**t, my bad.” Zach replies and walks away. “Nice meeting you, Javier. I’ll see you around though.”

Cody Jay avoids Javier eyes for a couple of seconds, he’s shaking again, and afraid he’ll spill his drink.

 

“I’m gay.” Cody Jay breaks the silence, and what he thought was awkward earlier compares to nothing now. Javier doesn’t say anything, but his drink midair says enough. “Well, more like bisexual, but you know… I don’t know…”

Alexander comes out of nowhere, tapping Javier on the leg, asking him to come in to the pool. Javier tells him he’ll be right over, and sends him back with a pat on the shoulder. Fernanda mouths “I’m sorry” when she sees her son coming back to her.

“But I do know that I like you. I always have.” Cody Jay finally says the words. His chest pounding so hard he can hear his heart beating a thousand miles per second.

Cody Jay does feel relieved like he thought he was going to, but he didn’t expect the silence that his confession would bring. He wasn’t prepared for that. His legs feel like giving up, the silence deafens his ears, his throat is dry and it hurts to breathe which he forgets to do.

 

“Uhm, CJ… about that….” Javier starts. And Cody Jay’s heart breaks.

Author's Note

What ending do you guys want to read? I have two. Happy or Realistic ending.

Reviews

[Green]

hey, who says depressing is realistic? I honestly started dating someone because I sent him cookies. After meeting him once. Several weeks prior. It wasn't quite as creepy as it sounds, i assure you, but the point is the outcome wasn't your typical "realistic ending".

REALISTIC!!! I like the real one better becfause they are easier to realate too.