Beautiful Mornings, Beautiful Nights

a poem

The place we called ours

When the grass was all green

Now it's all burnt from the sun

And there's no magical feeling

Much more beautiful in the winter

Funny how that is

But it was, nonetheless

Foggy morning, pretty mist

Ivy up the trees

Light blue flowers

Sunrise in your eyes

The morning was ours

Everything was beautiful

Everything you touched seemed to glow

My vision was cleared

And I never wanted to let you go

Dancing through the long grass

Grass which used to grow wild

Now it's got a short cut

For a summer style

Nothing's the same now

When you left, my life changed

Nothing's the same now

Everything's rearranged

No, nothing will be the same now

Until you finally return

You made these flowers bloom

They've been dead, since the court adjourned...

Author's Note

I'm not good at poetry...but I'm working on it...

Reviews

[Clemmy]

You are good at poetry....you are very good my friend...I love it... its a 100/100

[Su]

Wow that is really good great job and you are a great poet

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

you relate the emotions with beautiful control~ you keep the balance perfectly~ the poem flows stanza by stanza creating images in the reader's mind as well as empathy~ and the last line packs a wallop engaging the reader's imagination as to what transpired . . . . well done!~

I am wondering about the end statement "since the court adjourned," more than anything in the entire poem. The reason for this is it seems like the statement at the end should more likely be exposed throughout the poem to the reader.In this type of poem, figuring this out at the end makes the poem anti-climactic. It really feels like a statement thrown in out of nowhere and doesn't mean anything to the reader. This statement has to be exposed early and built upon. Only then can you achieve climax. I felt that with the statement there was tension, so, talk about that tension. This wil greatly improve your piece. Hope this helped. Thanks.

[loowzerX]

you're not good at poetry but you can right this? you're right, you're not good, you're great :D

[Lighthouse Call]

Bryn, Bryn.. You are good at poetry. Very good indeed. There wasn't a rhyme at the end of every line, but so what? I love it more this way. Don't change it. It's excellent as it is. It's a shame to celebrate a good write on such feelings though..
Yes, maybe its not the same, but I understand that you prefer the cold winter from summer. I've had so many memories in winter, and this summer? Meh, I'm just breathing.. barely doing so. It seems like its' never over eh? You really did reach to my emotions with what you think is not good poetry. Excellent Poem. =)

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem tells a very good story. When love is near and we feel the warmth and sweetness of love. Life is very good. The ending is true also. When we are alone we want and need little. A very good poem. I like the last line.
Coyote