Pesadillas

PESADILLA

It's been a year since Ive been trapped in this parallel dimension. I've somehow been able to survive for what seems like forever now. These have been my most trying days. Even in the daytime it still feels dark, as if I were wandering alone in a dark forest with zero inhabitants. Where the trees are dead and leafless, and the sun had given up trying to penetrate through the thick nimbus clouds that are painted in the saddest shade of grey, with what feels like 30 below cold wind so bitter you could hear your bones screaming in agony. These trying days reflect my soul.

It struck midnight, so it was officially the darkest day of this gruesome winter, July 4th. The anniversary of the day I came upon the vortex that had trapped me in this eternal Inferno. I often wonder what life is like for my other self on the other side of this parallel
dimension. He's probably carrying a cooler with his grandfather along the beach, to the bbq grill we always go to when we go to Harrison Beach, because that's where we get the best view of the fireworks. In this dimension, there are no fireworks, or grandfathers. Only dementia, only isolation.

July 4th 2011. That was last years Independence Day, the day I discovered the vortex into this dimension. I had entered this dimension through a phone call. For the past year, I have been continuously trying to decipher what It was that I was told through that phone that brought me here.I keep coming up with the same answer, but it just doesn't make sense. And it will never make sense.

All I remember upon my arrival here was a group of human shaped beings, but they all had distorted faces. They were all uniform in height and stature, no genders, and dressed in all black garments. They were huddled around what appeared to be a sarcophagus. It was as if it were a ritual in which they sacrificed all the misery and joy out of souls. There was a large shadow cast above us that stretched from all horizons, to the top of the sky, as if it engulfed the universe. Then, a servant of this dimension had appeared to me. He goes by the name of Azrael. He resembled the beings with distorted faces, but he also resembled the shadow in the sky. What he told me was the same message that was told to me through the phone. And it still doesn't make sense. And it will never make sense.

Azrael had abruptly left , and everyone else had disappeared too. I have been alone here in this new world ever since. If only my grandfather were here, he would know a way out of this place. I sometimes hallucinate and see some of my family members here with me, but I know being alone for this long is beginning to drive me insane. There will never be anybody here.

I have been walking alone in search for others for an entire year now. All I have to pass the time, is to think of how things used to be. One of the things I miss is hearing children's laughter as they play on the sidewalk on the first warm day of spring. I also miss cherishing the touch of someone I know loves me unconditional. The days when the family used to drive down to Harrison Beach to BBQ. Those days reflect my soul.

As I continue on my path, I see a dark figure start to take shape further down the road. I continue heading in the same direction, and as I arrive, I realize that this figure is Azrael, and he has appeared to me again for the first time since I got here. As I approach him, he stares off into the distance for a while and doesn't acknowledge me. He then says "I know what you want to know." I was shocked, mostly because I believed him. I reply "then what is it that I want to know." He takes a short pause, turns to me, and stares intensely into the windows of my soul. "You want to know what it was that was said on the phone call that transported you here."

That is exactly what I wanted to know, I had heard it on the phone, and I had heard it when Azreal repeated it upon my arrival, but it just doesn't make sense. "I know exactly what you're thinking right now. That what was said doesn't makes sense, that none of this feels real, therefore it can't be real. But it is real, and you have to accept the fact that your grandfather is dead. As soon as you accept that he has passed, both worlds can begin to coexist again. You are trapped in the misery of your soul. If you can accept his death, you will begin to merge this world with the side of your soul that contains your joy. You can learn to keep living. You can't continue to be upset that he isn't around anymore, you know it would upset him to know that you were. You can't keep feeling that it would be selfish if you go a day without thinking about him, because life just goes on and those days are bound to happen. You have grieved long enough.Your grandfather is now a being of light, just as I am. We will always be watching you and the rest of the world, guiding it in the predestined order it was designed to follow. As beings of light, we are all one, and when your time comes, you will become a part of us and be one with your grandfather again. Our spirits will roam free, using the the power of love as a conduit, which the almighty has bestowed upon us. Just remember when it rains it pours, but there will always be sunshine after the rain, and that's when you know everything will be just fine."

I listened intently, knowing that he was speaking from the heart, my heart. He was saying everything I had already known, it just didn't register, and I needed to be reminded of It again. It just didn't make sense before, and I still have not completely come to terms with it, but now I feel like I'm on the right path. I then put my hands over my face and burst into tears almost immediately. I loved my grandfather, I just couldn't believe he was gone. That phone call shattered my entire world. I never imagined I would wake up one day and be told that someone I can't live without, is no longer living. Where does that leave me then? And what does that say about my grandfather? That there is no longer a use for him, as if he's some kind of battery you throw away when they die out. But, I'm beginning to realize I can't live trying to rationalize anger. It would be ongoing. I have to rationalize love and happiness, because there will always be a genuine reason to smile, but never to hate. I'm realizing that we all serve a purpose, it must mean his purpose was fulfilled, and he now has another task at hand to complete. Grampa was always was a hard worker anyway. I chuckled a little bit after my last thought. I can't remember the last time I genuinely laughed in a long time. I took my hands away from my eyes. I looked around and saw that Azreal was gone. As I look around I realize that I don't know where i'm going anymore. The path I was headed towards doesn't look the same. I see a beam of light beginning to pierce through the gloomy clouds. Azrael said "when it rains it pours, but there will always be sunshine after the rain." I have a feeling I'm headed in the right direction.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is always appreciated

Reviews

[Diana]

I loved it. It made me think of how when we are sad we are trapped inside, and can't feel the sunshine around us. For this story I would use a little bit more showing statements which means: instead of telling something like "I found a dollar" you could say " I looked in my hands, and I saw the green paper that could buy me luck." Overall great story!