GOOD BYE

Hey Readers, This poetry here I wrote is about the feelings of the loved ones of our soldiers who sacrificed there life in order to protect the honor of their Motherland.

"GOOD BYE"

Glancing into my teary eyes'

All you uttered was take care Love!

Yet! How am I supposed to?

Because you are no more here.

You were my laugh in the sea of sadness'

You were my blanket of Love. 

It's just your silken lies now,

That's all has left.

Although you promised to come back soon,

Instead your enshrouded body came.

Covering in blanket of bullets,

You defended the honor of your Motherland.

Please just for a moment revert to me,

Perhaps! I won't let you leave then,

I miss you like  the moon misses the night,

Let's bid that Adieu again!!!

Author's Note

Your suggestions are always welcomed.

Reviews

[Mrudula Rani]

Hi Aditi, welcome to writerscafe. I hope you enjoy your stay here, make many friends and post lot of writings. All the best.
As recently as last month, there was confrontation and a few of our soldiers lost their lives. It is always very hard to bid Adieu to soldiers who sacrifice their lives to protect their nation. All can I add is hope they Rest In Peace and God give their loved ones strength to carry on.

[Aditi Nagvanshi]

Thank you Mrudula for welcoming me. I really appreciate you taking the time out and reviewing my writing.

[Mrudula Rani]

It's entirely my pleasure, Aditi.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'GOOD BYE'
Aditi Nagvanshi,'
I am glad you will have the memories of this person.
I am sorry you lost him.
From the opening line;
'Glancing into my teary eyes
all you uttered was take care love.'
The remaining body of words tells of your hurt and
sadness.
' You defended the honor of your Motherland.
please just for a moment return to me.'
Perhaps I won't let you leave then.
I miss you like the moon misses the night
Let's bid adieu again.'
I hope you will continue to live your life well.
He would want you to.
Blessings to you.
Kathy

[Jade]

This is a very good wonderful write, enjoyed this. I hope to see more writes from you.

[Aditi Nagvanshi]

M glad that you liked my work.. thankyou so much for your words of appreciation

[Paul Bell]

Soldiers lie all around the world basking in the glory of failure.
Fighting never for country, just for each other.

[Aditi Nagvanshi]

In my opinion they never fight only for themselves. They does that just to protect the people like us who are on the other side. Doesn't matter to which country they belong to, they fight for their people and their country. I have seen what their family members have gone through after they are gone, this piece here is just to show their emotions what they couldn't express in words.

[Margie F]

How beautiful. It is difficult to lose anyone at all much less someone who has given their life for their country. If only we lived in a world where men fought their battles by playing Chess or beating someone in a debate. The only suggestions I would have for you relate to use of English, but with creative writing, the language can be twisted any way that you like. The question would be, does it convey what you want. For example, the line that reads you're "no more here," we would say, "here no more." You decide how you want it to read. I am finding that breaking rules can result in some of the best work. As long as it conveys the message you want, go for it. The last line of the second stanza, something is either missing or it is misuse of a word. "That's all has left" It sounds like it should read, "That's all I have left." or "That's all that's left." Third line, third stanza--"Covered" instead of "Covering." These aren't major things. It is a sweet message, and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing, and may we see peace in our lifetime. Welcome to WritersCafe.

[Aditi Nagvanshi]

Thank you so much Margie F for your valuable suggestions. I'll definitely improve my skills.
Thank you so much for welcoming me here.

[M P Ramesh]

aditi,

The hope that the unseen will sprung up is the core of the poetry and the poet is the only soul who foresees it without anybody's indulgence

When it reaches the space of its own tje poem catches its realm and the poet is a pickpocketed soul

mp

[Aditi Nagvanshi]

Thank you Sir for taking your time out and reviewing my work. Your valuable suggestions are always appreciated.

[M P Ramesh]

thanks for the words
mp

[Anish Gowda]

Hello. Welcome to writer's cafe. Believe me, it's a wonderful place to make friends, and also enhance your writing skill. As rightly mentioned by miss mrudula, keep writing and keep improving.
Your poem is simple and elegant. I guess this is your genre. Looking forward to see more of your writing. Im a budding writer too. Miss mrudula is one of the best I have encountered yet. We can learn a lot from her 😊😊

[Aditi Nagvanshi]

Hello Anish! It's nice to meet you. Thank you for your kind words. I'll definitely try to improve and learn from you guys.
Thank you again for taking your time out to review my work.