Weep

I wept and now you weep. It was early morning when they lowered me into the ground. I was dressed in black, paler than I had ever been. It was as if staring at an apparition to look at me. Then maybe that was the point, to look at a ghost, to forget I was ever more. Nobody preached, I was buried at the beach, after all. The wind was merciless, as me, for what I did. It hissed like snakes and bit your cheeks, turning them as pink as your swollen eyes. You had looked at my pale form, and almost seen the one you once knew. Yet I was too still, in my life I'd been so restless. Now looked like a porcelain doll, apple-red lips and rosy cheeks, soon to be eaten by maggots and time.

Few words muttered about loss of life, few prayers said for a soul thought doomed. The ocean was just as vast as the skies, to be lost in it was not my doom. Is it not funny at least, how I wished to erase every part of my being, to be washed away? Yet you still found my body, to soothe your raw feeling, to trap me forever in your head. I swear, my death was the best to ever happen. I swear I didn't think of you. But now I am gone and I always will haunt you, no tears will bring me back to you.

The hand clutching flowers grew colder with speeches, of what my life could have been. They all resisted to call me what I was - a selfish, now dead, fool. Yet they will grieve for a while, weep for a while, then forget in a while. Even you won't mourn my loss forever, darling. So now you leave flowers, you will every week. But my body will rot and so will the flowers, and so will your memories, and so will your grief. Soon you again will wear bright colours. I wept and now you weep

Reviews

[Arthur. S. Ebbers]

I've reread this about a hundred times already, and everytime I do, I see something new.

I think the line "no tears will bring me back to you." is one of the best, most hard-hiting lines I've read in a long time. Along with "they will grieve for a while, weep for a while, then forget in a while.", as someone who loves (and often overuses) repetition, this line especially scratches that little itch in my brain.

This story is definitely one I will be coming back to over and over again!

[Adriana]

Aww thank you so much! I am really glad you liked it:))

[shoaib rafi]

You were right when you said-- Few words muttered about loss of life... Beautiful!

[Michael Sun Bear]

What an intense short story. You had me standing there, feeling the wind, hearing the surf. Your description of the body had me imagining what might have been a beautiful woman alive. Yes? I love the word “darling” just before the end. It gives me a backstory of lovers in love and makes me wonder what went wrong; your poem implies suicide after all. I love the entire sentence about “rot.” The poem has a strong finish and your closing with the same words that opened the poem: I wept and now you weep, is just perfection. Adriana, this is a lovely piece of writing but ever so morbid. You worry me sometimes. MSB

[Adriana]

Thank you so much, your comments are always my favourite, they're so thoughtful! I will try to post something a bit more cheerful at some point as not to worry you

[Arundass TP]

Beautifully written. Enjoyed your writing

[Adriana]

Thank you very much!

[Dave W.]

This was really freaking sad, thankyou for making me feel something.......

[Adriana]

Thank you. Glad it made you feel something