Obscurity

About pain.

 

The song of my soul

echoes trough the gray corridors

of the mind,

as daemons take shape slowly

from the darkness of the

memory.

 

Living. Dying.

 

Their blood gives birth

to thousands of shadows

embracing me in thorns,

 

poisoned by the truth.

 

Author's Note

Be honest pls.

Reviews

[Yoko Udoran]

You talk as if the mind is a cage of some sort, and you are the only light and or key that is trying to escape. Along for the ride is the notion that you can not live with out your mind, so you try to erase the vivid emotions of escape, what life was in the free air, freedom. The demons represent your ill will and or dark intentions to erase these thoughts and vivid shards of memories but again as the light you cant allow it. Coming to the full realization of what is around you and what you have to live though, your eyes dim while looking at the time stained glass, aware that the light you shine will eventually fade and the daemons will have their way.

[Emily Elizabeth]

Very good poem. Dark, bleak, but I like it. I like the simplicity of it, it's almost as if 'that's all there is'.
Wonderful write, very stylistic.

[Wunderlich]

I thought it was good. Being split up into short stanzas helps make the poem easier to read, and the spaces between stanzas allows the reader to easily soak up the read stanza.
Only one thing, and that's that I think you're looking for the word "dying" in the line "Living. Dyeing."
Good poem =D