Atheism

No offense to Christians

Look above

 

What do you see?

 

…

 

Hundreds of fields pleading

HELP US!!

 

Ignorance like dust

Desperation like water   

 

Don’t worry God will save you

God loves you

God understands

God will take the pain away  

 

believe

 

Wait for something so fall from the sky

and make everything better.

 

And if you die in pain, don’t worry

you will be rewarded in heaven.

 

believe

 

A man made miracles and

floated to the sky

 

believe

 

believe

 

believe

 

believe

 

and don’t think too much.

 

Author's Note

Please don�t post any reviews about how God helped you and bla bla , or some bible clich�s. I�m really not interested.

A.M.

Reviews

[Annalisa]

I like the idea of the poem, but i feel as though it's angry. And i have a hard time with someone being angry at God, or religion, when being an atheist, how can you be angry at something that you don't believe exists? So I like the idea, i just with that it focused more on the absence of anything divine instead of mocking God.

But other than that, this is a good poem, if flows well and it was an interesting read.

[TastyKittens]

Really interesting, and I love the last line. Lol. Good job!

[n]

Nice work. I can totally sympathise with your angle here... just two weeks ago I was at Speakers Corner in Hyde Park, London. After two hours of debating with ignorant fanatics I reached pretty much the same conclusion as your poem!

Those who criticise Non-Theists for being angry at religion should take a look at the bigger picture and how religious superstition affects everyone's daily lives especially for those of us who 'don't believe.'

In fact, I don't believe your piece reflects that you are angry at God, seeing as you don't believe in him I think that would be quite a difficult task. Instead your poem reflects to me a direct anger at those who hold back the rest of society due to their personal beliefs. This issue is especially ripe in the field of Science where we are constantly told to tiptoe around religion and not interfere. Mankind is effectively restrained by religious folk!

Thanks for sharing!

[THERISA]

Adela, i understand the message, which you're expressing to us, the reader, concerning religion, in general. Too many times, it has been used, as a weapon against people, desperate for a solution which doesn't exist. Destroying lives because we're different somehow from others. Whether it language, nationality or our appearances. Thank you, for having the courage, to share this poem with us.

[M. Amphet Salt]

Good write Adela. I am not an atheist, but I relate to your messege here. I actually went through the post here to see if anyone posted religious bs and learned something. I would argue with Annalisa that an atheist can be angry with God or religion or the people who are religious. Psychologically we all look to something in a time of need and beg or curse it, whether it is there or not. As well, I do not think that you mocked God here. The work is expressing the fact that Christians, Jews, and believers of the Islamic faith are to believe without question and that is a hard concept for some of us to deal with in Western Orthadox Religion, unlike the easter religions like Buddism which allow its believers to question life around them.

Wait for something so fall from the sky (Wait for something to fall from the sky) This is the only line I had a problem with. Because of the "so" it doesn't read right, but however, placing a comma between something and so would make it so much better if that so is intentional like I think it is, like you are daring it too.

Good Job, D.

[Rhan F. Sydney]

Firstly, Love the author's note. You tell em'! Second, this poem, was truly good. It had a determined power under the currants of what was written, as if you are an outsider willing the ignorant to see the truth. Thank you for the entry.

[Spoken]

Wait for something so fall from the sky ( so= to)

i get the sense from this that you think christians are nieve, kind of hard not to take offense to it if you are a christian...

I myself am not a religious person but maintain to keep an open mind because in the end... no one could possibly know until they die, so all our beliefs are based on theory and hypothesis.

Ignorance like dust
Desperation like water

great lines here. desperation like water- water is vaste, we need water to survive.. ignorance like dust- illucive, stings the eye, spreads like wildfire in the wind...

nicely done!

[Pink Poison]

Very nice. I like how you address the eternal question of is there or isn't there a God? Religion does ask us to believe in something we can't see. I remember asking my dad about God when I was in high school and he told me "Do not question, just believe." I thought it was incredibly ridiculous then, and I still do. Anything real can withstand intense scrutiny as well as the burning desire to really know for sure. That being said, I do believe in God, but it took me 40 years to make up my mind! Great, though provoking work.

[Kitty]

This is awesome! I'm never sure if I believe in God, but you pretty much nailed my thoughts of Him on a normal day. How can He let us suffer and still say He loves us? Look, there are things that I am grateful for in life, but did God bless me with those things? I don't know. I actually don't care too much.

Nicely written!!!

Josie

[Leran Vakem]

I would have to say this is a really good poem, not really my type but I enjoyed it.
All one has to do is believe things will be fine, and then work for it.
Hope to read more of your work
Leran Vakem

[hhoosh]

Agreed with Annalisa.
I am guessing that you are an "Atheist" seeing as you wrote this with a mind for the purpose. Not sure if you've read any texts amongst Atheist-oriented writers, but the most dominant thing about Atheism that has, throughout time, become mixed and dissolved, is that Atheism is a lens, not a conviction. People claiming themselves Atheists and spewing just as many convictions as any other follower of some organized religion are no different.
If you don't know about that, i'd suggest checking into Dialectics. If you can grasp that, then you should see the original side of Atheism and why this poem is rather far from anything pure.

But! From a Writer perspective, the poem was rather fluent. But! You absolutely have to take those capitalized words out and remove one of those two exclamation marks. Perhaps the biggest cliche in writing is the abuse of exclamation mark.