Flames

Gee he’s hot …

 

 

my greedy sinful heart skips a beat

at your voice killing the silence.

A million thoughts tempt me when my gaze bites you.

 

Baby baby

if you only knew

all the ways I want

to devour you,

you wouldn’t look

at me and

see the little angel

I appear to be.

 

Take me.

 

Quench my thirst and let us taste

love’s red red whine

caught up in one-another

lust for this wicked

game of passion.

 

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Adela,

A very nice poem full of passion.

Did you really intend in the last stanza to use "whine" rather than "wine"?

I thought I might suggest other changes in words and phraseology, but then paused and thought about it some more, and now I think your words are very carefully chosen, painting a very specific picture. For example I wondered about "my greedy sinful heart" and whether "sinful" belonged there, just as whether "wicked" belonged in "lust for this wicked / game of passion". But now I'm thinking that some sort of feeling of guilt belongs in there, a sort of remorse that you're actually in fact not "the little angel / I appear to be". That is in keeping with biting and devouring the man under your gaze.

Very nice write.

Best regards,

Rick

[Samuel Dickens]

Passion and aggression-charged--very effective. A great poem, Adela!

[Maria C. Donado]

I don't know if I'm getting the subject right....so I'm going to take a wild guess -grins- is this about vampires? Because if it isn't then whatever!! It's just as good!! Loved it. Instant fave. -laugh- it sort of made me feel....horny? XD