Empty

Sad sad poem :( .

Alone with an opal

in my hand…

 

Like a tree shedding its leaves,

my heart becomes a million pieces

on the ground.   

 

My well known sadness prevails,

in the sea of illusions flowing

and flowing…

 

Like a butterfly trying to penetrate the glass

I try to reach for you

 

but you’re not even there.

 

Reviews

[Rambling Prose]

I enjoyed reading this poem, but I'm not sure about a few things:

"Like a tree shading its leaves" - Did you mean 'shedding its leaves'? You could very well mean 'shading', due to the fact that the under leaves are shaded by the upper leaves, but I'm of the impression you meant the former, rather than the latter.

"my hearth becomes a million pieces" - Did you mean 'heart' rather than 'hearth', because it doesn't make sense to me.

Otherwise, I loved it!

[shadadakiya]

wow i so love this one!!!!

[carpe noctem]

I love how your poems always have a sort of hook at the end, this one is exceptional.
It's beautiful and the fact that
It's so ephemeral enhances the beauty.
Good write.
Thank you.

[Emily B]

This is amazing beautiful--a dream that recedes unrealized. It is a new favorite.

[Display Name]

this is the kind of poem i enjoy, this emotion obviously means something to you and it shows the path that is your soul

[Liddie Martinez]

Excellent images. I like the line "My well known sadness..." your attempt to break the isolation ends in discovering that what you need isn't there. Very expressive.

[Angela]

This is really sad, but very well written. So full of pain and heartache. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.

[MandarinOranges]

So, so sad! You couldn't have expressed this emotion any better than you did here. This simply is superb writing; all the way down to the last word! Excellent job!

[An owl on the moon]

Such beauty dressed in such bitterness... The feelings you express so vividly move like a cold wind on a heart that longs for love... Amazing!

Craig

[Nita]

OOOOH! I liked this, it was good. And sad. Loved the line at the end!