In the silence

Funny how many things stay hidden�in the silence.

the black thorns sank into my flesh…

and pain exploded inside me.

 

I lay

 

on the cold pedestal in blood

dripped from my skin.

 

Shivers spread   

as my stifled screams echo trough the tunnels…

 

 

 

Black deep tunnels…  

with long cold whispers…

 

 

 

She raises from my marble case again.

 

Pink eyes glimmer, with evil, as she laughs …

 

my laugh

 

as she stains

my body

 

as she strangles

my dreams

 

becoming once again

 

me.     

 

Author's Note

Often we become what we are not.

Reviews

[Trée]

Adela, one word comes to mind--bold. I like the economy of language, but not just the economy but the careful selection of strong verbs and vivid adjectives and a pacing that slaps one up side the head and then back down again. This poem, this vision, your words, here, now, attack the reader with passion and depth and a rawness that makes one want to strip the veneer from our bodies and swim in the lake of eternal authenticity. In other words, I liked this poem very, very much. :-)

[Rhan F. Sydney]

I really enjoyed this one...Thank you....

[Marie]

Nicely portrayed. I think you meant dripping.

[Dani California]

Intense and painful.. yet passionate.
Falsehood, facade.. becoming
what is expected rather than what is..

Truly great work Adela. Very raw.. makes one
want to find truth and wash themselves
of the uncleanliness of it all..

Great job!!

[Fran Marie]

She raises from my marble case again.



Pink eyes glimmer, with evil, as she laughs �



my laugh

Deliciosly Dark and very well presented and wonderfully written

THanks for submitting this to Darkness Becomes You ConTesT~Fran Marie

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, this was very powerful. It truly grabs the readers' thoughts. Great job!

jkb

[Angela]

This is a little to me. It's like being inside a nightmare that you can't wake up from. A very well written piece.

"Black deep tunnels�

with long cold whispers�"

Yes, I think that this one gives me goosebumps. A very excellent descriptive poem. I like it a lot.

[Kitty]

Oh WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE this!!! This describes so perfectly what I have tried to explain to people, but just never found the right words!!!!!

BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Josie

[Fallen_Immortal]

This poem sends shivers down my spine! The choice in words, the imagery, the split in personalities speaking. It's genius.

[Partha]

Very effective in delivering the message. from the start picks up the pace and by the end gives the reader an uncanny feeling, maybe because the reader clearly gets the feeling of "Often we become what we are not." very mature and strong poem, I liked it.

[Grey]

I liked this, a lot. It was really intense, and your vocabulary and structure gave so much more meaning to the poem. It has a great rhythm, and really gets the reader thinking. Great job.