In the silence
A Poem by
Adela Muresan
Funny how many things stay hiddenin the silence.
the black thorns sank into my flesh…
and pain exploded inside me.
I lay
on the cold pedestal in blood
dripped from my skin.
Shivers spread
as my stifled screams echo trough the tunnels…
Black deep tunnels…
with long cold whispers…
She raises from my marble case again.
Pink eyes glimmer, with evil, as she laughs …
my laugh
as she stains
my body
as she strangles
my dreams
becoming once again
me.
© 2008 Adela Muresan
Author's Note
Often we become what we are not.
Featured Review
Adela, one word comes to mind--bold. I like the economy of language, but not just the economy but the careful selection of strong verbs and vivid adjectives and a pacing that slaps one up side the head and then back down again. This poem, this vision, your words, here, now, attack the reader with passion and depth and a rawness that makes one want to strip the veneer from our bodies and swim in the lake of eternal authenticity. In other words, I liked this poem very, very much. :-)
Posted 16 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Reviews
I really enjoyed this one...Thank you....
Posted 16 Years Ago
I really enjoyed this one...Thank you....
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Nicely portrayed. I think you meant dripping.
Posted 16 Years Ago
Nicely portrayed. I think you meant dripping.
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Intense and painful.. yet passionate.
Falsehood, facade.. becoming
what is expected rather than what is..
Truly great work Adela. Very raw.. makes one
want to find truth and wash themselves
of the uncleanliness of it all..
Great job!!
Posted 16 Years Ago
Intense and painful.. yet passionate.
Falsehood, facade.. becoming
what is expected rather than what is..
Truly great work Adela. Very raw.. makes one
want to find truth and wash themselves
of the uncleanliness of it all..
Great job!!
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
She raises from my marble case again.
Pink eyes glimmer, with evil, as she laughs
my laugh
Deliciosly Dark and very well presented and wonderfully written
THanks for submitting this to Darkness Becomes You ConTesT~Fran Marie
Posted 16 Years Ago
She raises from my marble case again.
Pink eyes glimmer, with evil, as she laughs
my laugh
Deliciosly Dark and very well presented and wonderfully written
THanks for submitting this to Darkness Becomes You ConTesT~Fran Marie
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Wow, this was very powerful. It truly grabs the readers' thoughts. Great job!
jkb
Posted 16 Years Ago
Wow, this was very powerful. It truly grabs the readers' thoughts. Great job!
jkb
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
This is a little to me. It's like being inside a nightmare that you can't wake up from. A very well written piece.
"Black deep tunnels
with long cold whispers"
Yes, I think that this one gives me goosebumps. A very excellent descriptive poem. I like it a lot.
Posted 16 Years Ago
This is a little to me. It's like being inside a nightmare that you can't wake up from. A very well written piece.
"Black deep tunnels
with long cold whispers"
Yes, I think that this one gives me goosebumps. A very excellent descriptive poem. I like it a lot.
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Oh WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE this!!! This describes so perfectly what I have tried to explain to people, but just never found the right words!!!!!
BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Josie
Posted 16 Years Ago
Oh WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE this!!! This describes so perfectly what I have tried to explain to people, but just never found the right words!!!!!
BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Josie
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
This poem sends shivers down my spine! The choice in words, the imagery, the split in personalities speaking. It's genius.
Posted 16 Years Ago
This poem sends shivers down my spine! The choice in words, the imagery, the split in personalities speaking. It's genius.
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Very effective in delivering the message. from the start picks up the pace and by the end gives the reader an uncanny feeling, maybe because the reader clearly gets the feeling of "Often we become what we are not." very mature and strong poem, I liked it.
Posted 16 Years Ago
Very effective in delivering the message. from the start picks up the pace and by the end gives the reader an uncanny feeling, maybe because the reader clearly gets the feeling of "Often we become what we are not." very mature and strong poem, I liked it.
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
I liked this, a lot. It was really intense, and your vocabulary and structure gave so much more meaning to the poem. It has a great rhythm, and really gets the reader thinking. Great job.
Posted 16 Years Ago
I liked this, a lot. It was really intense, and your vocabulary and structure gave so much more meaning to the poem. It has a great rhythm, and really gets the reader thinking. Great job.
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
first
prev
1
Stats
718 Views
19 Reviews
Added on July 4, 2008
Last Updated on July 7, 2008
Author
Adela Muresan
About
Heya,
I'm a 18 year old chick for Romania, studying first year economics in college.
I dance while I put my clothes back on the drawer.
I like late night net-surfing , reading and reading and read..
more..
Writing
Related Writing
People who liked this story also liked..