August, 28th, 2022

Erin's second day of school starts off with a dysphoric morning and ends with a nice trip to the library where he meets his favorite small time author.

    Erin woke up that next morning, extremely tired. He hadn't slept the until 3:20 in the morning due to Sammy sending him a few videos to watch. Erin yawned and stood up, stretching his arms above his head. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and sighed. He usually tried to avoid mirrors in the morning until after he had his binder on, but he wasn't so lucky this morning. His eyes skipped over and ignored the scar on his collar bone, trailing down to the sports bra that enclosed the mounds of flesh that he hated, then down to the chubby stomach and wide hips that created a feminine build. Erin wasn't skinny by any means, unlike all the trans men online. All the cis, trans, and even androgynous people, were skinny and gorgeous, or the men were built athletically. Erin can't remember seeing a plus size trans guy online. He's tried losing weight but it never works out. Erin wouldn't mind being thick if he looked more like a guy. The chubbiness just adds onto the femininity of his body. Erin sighed and quickly changed from his sports bra to the binder. He hopes to get TransTape to replace his binder or just get Top surgery, the tape would be cheaper. 

        Erin pulled out a pair of ripped black jeans from his dresser and his packer. He gets dressed and situates the packer so it's comfortable. The packer was a weird purchase because his mom walked in on him researching them and thought it was a sex toy, after a quick explanation it was ordered the same day as the binder. Erin would have ordered the TransTape instead but hadn't discovered it until a few days ago. Erin stood in front of his mirror to make sure that his chest was flat enough. Once it was deemed flat then it was time for a shirt. Erin grabbed a wide strap black tank top and a purple and black flannel his mom had bought him a couple months before her death.  Erin stopped where he stood to remember back to three weeks ago. 
   It had been a horrible day, Erin woke up late that morning and missed the bus. His mom had to drive him into school. He had been sulking in the passenger seat and his mom had decided to stop by the donut shop to get him breakfast, causing him to be even later for school but he had missed breakfast so he didn't argue. She pulled into the parking lot and walked inside with her son. Janice had smiled at the man behind the counter as he pulled the donuts she asked for. Once they gotten their food and had sat in the car to eat it Erin had perked up a bit. Janice had a huge grin on her face as she polished off the chocolate strawberry donut she had gotten. Erin smiled as his mom pulled out of the parking space and onto the road. She only looked away for two seconds to see the time, but it doesn't take much time for an accident to happen. "MOM!" Erin yelled as a car came speeding ten miles above the speed limit and directly into the driver's side of the car. 

    Erin shook his head to clear the thoughts as a tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped his face and screamed in anger as more tears rolled down his face. Erin wiped his face again and took a deep breath, calming himself down. He put his shirts on before walking over to his dresser. He started brushing his hair and styling it, moving it around until it was how he wanted it. He put his glasses on then his piercing before grabbing his backpack and leaving the room. Erin made his way down the stairs and out the door.

   Kye woke up early that morning and smiled at himself in the mirror as he got dressed. He put on his black jeans and his red muscle shirt. He ran his white belt through the loops and grabbed the scarlet beanie, slipping it over the back of his chestnut curls, leaving his bangs out. He tucks the front left side of his tank into his jeans and slipped his custom scarlet and violet shoes. He double checked his reflection, stopping ot cuff his jeans before grabbing his hearing aids and putting them in his pocket. He looked around to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything and walked out of the room and grabbed his backpack off the hook. 
"Mama, I'm leaving." Kye yelled as he grabbed his lunchbox off the counter, he was about to open the door when he felt something soft hit the back of his head. Kye turned around and signed to his mother.
" What?!" 
"Don't you dare say goodbye without giving me a hug first."
Kye sighed, his mom always wanted a hug before he left the house for anything. Kye walked over to his mother and gave her a small hug before she enveloped him in her arms and hugged him tight. Kye smiled and kissed his mother's cheek before walking out the door to his bus stop. Kye stood underneath the tree that grew on the side of the street and watched the wind blow through the trees. He stood in silence, until the ringing started. Kye winced when the tinnitus kicked in and stuck his fingers in his ears. He knows it doesn't do anything but it was a habit he had acquired from before he went deaf. Once the bus pulled up Kye climbed up the steps and saw Erin sitting in the back, in the same seat as yesterday. Kye knew he was smiling but he didn't know why, deciding to ignore it and he made his way to the back. 

Erin looked up and saw Kye making his way to him. "What do you want?" Erin said and kye paused before sitting down, staring at Erin's face. Right, he's deaf, Erin thought closing his book. Erin splays his hands palm up in front of him in question.
"I told you yesterday. That's my seat, you're in it so I sit here now. Juniors and seniors sit in the back."
"Fine. whatever."
"Why are you so closed off? I just want to be your friend"
"Because I've had some bad experiences getting close to people. I have trust issues, like most teens nowadays." 

Erin was getting tired of signing and gestured for Kye to put to put his hearing aids.

"Why don't you give me a chance? I think you're cool and I feel drawn to you."
"Fine, I guess I don't have any actual reason to shut you out, but the first sign of trouble and I duck out. I'm not putting any two bit friendship above my mental health." 
Kye smiled and felt heat rise in his cheeks. Erin returned the smile with a half cocked grin. "One of these days I'll get you to smile completely, maybe even laugh."
"yeah right, good luck with that. I smile for no man." Erin chided before returning to his book, leaving Kye to watch as the trees passed by outside the window. 

Erin and Kye walked off the bus together, talking. Finely waved at his friend but got no reaction as the two walked right past him still talking. Finely slipped the shoe off his foot as his peers watched him, unfazed by this action. Kye tends to hyper fixate on things and not notice anything else. Once Finley gets his aim set he chucks the sneaker at his friend, hitting him square in the back. 
"Mother f****r!" was heard across the courtyard of the school
"Mr. Thomas please keep that language off school grounds, or at least quieter."
"Sorry, Mr. Jenkins."
Students were laughing as Finely walked over and put his shoe back onto his foot. Erin just watched, not laughing or anything. 
"What will it take to get you to laugh?" Kye exclaims, causing Finely to laugh but Erin just walks inside leaving the two teen boys to argue back and forth as Erin searched for Mae.

Mae was found eating at a table in the corner of the cafeteria by herself. Her clothes were exceptionally different than yesterday's. Black and white checkered crop top, black shorts and fishnets. Her eyes were a bright teal, obviously contacts.
"This is different." 
"It felt right for today. I thought the contacts would be good for a little extra flair."
"Yeah, they look great." Erin smiled at the girl.
"Thanks. I have like five different pairs of colored contacts."
Erin was about to speak until two bodies slammed into the seats beside Mae and Erin. Kye sat next to Mae and Finely sat across from him, next to Erin. Erin sighed and plopped his head onto the table. Mae laughed and lifted the boy's head back up and poked his nose. Erin snapped his teeth at her and she just laughed more. 

 The four teens sat and chatted during breakfast until the bell finally rang, signalling the start of first period. Erin and Kye walked to first hour together and sat down. As soon as the second bell rang the teacher was taking roll and starting class. Erin tapped his pencil on his desk as the teacher droned on about polynomials. Erin didn't hate math but he wasn't as good at it as he'd like to be. Algebra and geometry was never his strong suit, in fact the only math Erin was ever good at was finance. Erin took personal finance because it was a required class for sophomores. It was also a needed class for the things he wanted to accomplish in the future. He was in college prep and business classes to better prepare for his future. Ever since the seventh grade Erin wanted to run a safe space. He had journals full of plans for it. It would be an apartment building. The bottom floor would be a coffee shop, completely LGBT+ themed with local artists' art decorating the walls along with flags. The rest of the building would be apartments for homeless youth and even adults. Teens would room with teens while they go to the nearest school. The adults would work in the coffee shop part time to earn pay while they search for a more reliable source of income. Erin didn't know how possible this dream of his would be but he was determined to complete it. He wanted to make a difference and help people.

Kye watched as Erin zoned out and stopped paying attention. Erin sat with his chin in hand and stared at the wall, his brown eyes glazed over and not moving as he was lost in thought. Kye continued to sneak glances at Erin, while also taking his notes so he didn't fall behind. Kye was never good at any math or science but he had to keep his grades high so that he could get into a good college. Kye had big plans for his life, He was going to go to college on a basketball scholarship, and learn to become a teacher. Specifically he was going to teach ASL in schools so that deaf and mute kids could be understood a little easier. He would teach weekend and night English classes to non English speaking citizens. His grandmother was barely able to speak English, but she understood it. Kye and his mother was fluent in Spanish and in English. He grew up in a multilingual house and he planned to use the knowledge of the different languages he knows to help other people communicate.
        The bell to end first hour rang and it snapped Erin out of his thoughts. Erin looked around as his peers gathered their things and left for their next class. He started putting his binder into his bag when papers were dropped onto his desk. 
"I figured you could copy these during some free time today." Kye said as he slung his bag over his shoulder.
"Thanks, you didn't have to do that though."
"Yeah, but you zoned out and I know how important these stupid notes can be for tests. This is only your second day here and we're already three weeks in. I don't want you falling behind because you can't keep up." Kye teased.
Erin walked with him out into the hall and shoved him lightly.
"I'm not gonna fall behind jerk. I just zoned out a little, I do that sometimes."
"We all do, it's normal. Still, Mr. Grant is super strict about notes. I've heard of him from the upperclassman."
"Well, I'll be sure to not zone out again then."
Kye smiles as the two take their seats in their History class. Mrs. Jaspil stood at the front and smiled at her students as they filed in. 
"I love Mrs. Jaspil, she is one of the nicest teachers here." Kye commented leaning towards Erin.
"She seems nice, she pulled me aside yesterday to talk about the different clubs and stuff here at the school."
"Yeah us Blue Jays really enjoy our clubs. and activities."
"Blue Jays?" Erin questioned as everyone got out their textbooks
"Yeah, New Rye Blue Jays. That's our mascot."
"Ok then. Why though?"
"I don't know," Kye admitted, "What was your last school's mascot?"
"We were the Huntsman, the Jaycen Huntsmen."
"That is kinda cool. So your mascot was just a guy in hunting camo?"
"No, he was dressed like a huntsmen from the 1700's. Stupid raccoon hat and everything."
"OK that is pretty cool. Did he carry a gun?" Kye pressed as Erin rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, it was fake though." Erin answered as he started filling out the assignment.
Kye didn't press for more information as the two started doing their work. The assignment wasn't very difficult, just dates and names. Erin found the methodical work therapeutic, book, paper, repeat.  Finally the work was done and Erin pulled out his book, hoping to get some reading done. Normally he would be done with the book already but everyone keeps interrupting his reading. Erin found himself lost within the pages of the books in a matter of minutes. The immersive world of orcs and goblins washing over him as he read the pages.
 
   Kye found himself watching Erin again. The way his eyes flicked over the pages as he read. Those Russet brown eyes were beautiful when glazed over in a daydream. Kye shook his head to clear those thoughts, He couldn't think those things, Erin is a guy, guy's don't call other guys beautiful. Kye moved his eyes back to his own paper and continued his work until he was finally done. Kye stretched and then slumped in his seat, taking his hearing aids out. As soon as they were out everything fell silent. The sounds of classmates talking suddenly stopped and soon the ringing picked up. The dull high pitched ringing filled his ears and Kye shook his head. 
   Third and fourth hour came and went for the two teens, Erin sat through his business and college prep classes and Kye slept through physics and tried to stay awake for English. He didn't mind English but physics was so boring and he couldn't help falling asleep, despite having gotten a  fool nights sleep. The nap caused him to be tired throughout his English class, but by the time the bell rang for lunch he was more awake and ready for the lunch his mother packed him. Kye raced out of Mr. Keliar's English class and to his locker. The young deaf boy grabbed the lunch and replaced it's place in the locker with his backpack. He started the walk towards cafeteria, running into Finely on his way there. 
"Hey dude, what's on the menu today?" Finley investigated as the two walked.
"We'll find out, she used the larger box today so it's probably something big."
"Maybe you can share then," Finley attempted. 
"Maybe I will."

The two teens made it to their usual table, only to find an odd case sitting on the table. Kye and Finley sat down slowly and stared at the case as if it was going to explode any second. 

"It's not a bomb you dimwits." a voice says from the left of the two teen boys.
"Oh, Mae is this yours?" Finley questions as the girl sits down.
"Yea, It's my lyre." She opens the case and pulls out a small string instrument. She plucks a couple strings and plays a small tune. 
"Isn't that a harp?" Kye challenged as Erin sat down.
"No it's a lyre. On a harp the strings enter directly into the hollow body of the instrument, whereas with my lyre they pass over a bridge here," She gestures.
"I didn't know people still played that. I thought it was replaced by the harp in the mainstream media."
" It has been, but some people still play it. I play it for family gatherings and things." Mae puts the lyre away. "Anyways It's lunch time and I'm hungry." 
The other teens agree and turn to their own lunches. Kye opened his lunchbox and gawked at the amount of food in the container. His mom never packed him this much. He noticed a large sticky note on the inside of the lid. 

I made some extra food for Finley and those two new friends you were telling me about yesterday. I made enough for three burritos each, I know it's not as nice as what I usually make you but they are easily mass produced. Don't worry they're still my usual traditional cuisine just like grandma made. I'll see you at the restaurant today after school I need you on dishes. 
Love mama

Kye smiled and turned to his friends as they looked at the food.
 "Wow, that's enough for all of us." Finley remarked.
"Yeah, mama made enough for three each, so everyone grab three before I eat them all."
The other three immediately reached for the container to grab their portion. In a matter of seconds there were only three left in the container, Kye's share of the food.
"Tell your mama thank you for me Kye," Mae said as she took a bite into the food.
"Yeah, it's really good," Erin added and Kye just smiled in response.
The four teens continued to eat with small chatter in between bites. 
"So, Mae, I feel like this might be rude to ask, but your hair...."Kye trails off as he looks to the girl.
"Yes Kye it's fake, It's weave. Yes you can touch it, and no it's not made with human hair,"Mae spoke in rapid succession, as if she had been asked before. 
"I wasn't gonna ask if I could touch your hair. I mainly just wanted to know how much it cost." Kye clarified.
"Oh, I can't remember my mom paid for it when she got hers done a couple weeks ago. I'm having it taken out in about a month and then I have to wait a few weeks before getting it done again." Mae explained as she fiddled with the handle on the lyre case. The conversation was quickly dropped and the four sat in awkward silence, before Mae spoke up. 
"So, what clubs are you guys joining?
"I'm pretty busy with band," Finley answered.
"I work at the restaurant pretty often so I don't know if I can join a club," Kye explains as the other boy continues eating. 
"I'm thinking of joining the creative writing club," Erin comments.
"That's pretty cool."
"What about you Mae?"
Before she could answer the bell rang and the conversation was cut short as she waved goodbye to the other three. Kye waved to the other two and walked off towards his next class. Erin watched as the other teen left, he didn't realize he was staring until someone shook his shoulder. 
"Dude, you're gonna be late for 5th hour." Finley said and Erin shook his head to clear it. 
"Yeah, Yeah I'm good." 
The two left the cafeteria in the opposite direction that Kye went. 

Erin sat in his fifth hour physics class staring at the clock. The teacher was droning on and on and almost the entire class had zoned out. There were very few people who were actually interested in this class and they were all willing to share their notes with their peers. Erin stared at the wall  as time ticked on. 

"This stupid class drags  on for so long", Erin thought to himself.
"I really don't know why I have to take physics.
I don't need it for my future, not like Jessibel and Marckus.
Those two are going to be great physicists one day.
I should probably work on my book, If I want it to be done by the time I'm twenty five I need to work on it more and read some more LGBT books. " Erin's thoughts were interrupted. 
"Mr. Laemar, can you please answer question fifteen for me?" Mrs. Perry quizzed.
"Uh," Erin looked down at the paper. "C?" He offered.
"Incorrect. Anyone else?" 
Erin sighed and laid his head down on his desk for the last ten minutes of class. Once the bell rang he slipped out of the class amongst the small crowd. 

   Sixth hour passed without anything interesting for any of the four friends. Seventh hour started and Erin and Mae sat in their seats in the Home EC room. They sat in the back by the sewing machines. The teacher stood at the front and started talking about projects they would be starting soon. Erin actually listened in this class without zoning out, the projects would be making a pillow. It was simple enough, use any and all fabrics you wanted to make a pillow of your own design. It was a project that had room for a lot of creativity. Mae had immediately started drawing out her plans while Erin talked with her. 
"So, what are you planning?" He asks running his hands through his hair.
"Definitely something odd."
"Of course, it's you. I've known you for two days and I could figure that out."
"I think I'll make a weird collection of scraps. You know, use random leftover pieces of fabric and things. I think It'll make it a normal shaped pillow though, as large as I can with any scraps I find. Old clothes and things would work perfectly." 
"That sounds pretty cool. I think I'll just make a normal pillow, maybe with a hidden pocket or something. "
"A hidden pocket is a good idea. Got anything specific you're hiding?" Mae says, doodling on her planning paper.
"Just the normal teen stuff, ya know." 
Mae looks up at him expectantly.
"My vape and things. I have enough reasons for my dad to hate me, I don't need another one." Erin mumbles staring at the floor during the second sentence.
"What reasons?" 
Erin snapped his head up. 
"Oh, nothing. It's nothing." Erin faltered and promptly put his earbuds in, effectively ignoring Mae. She wasn't convinced, but she would drop it for now. 

   "How was school Kye?" Jesse, a worker at Reúnanse y coman, asked as Kye walked into the kitchen. Kye tied an apron around his front and smiled at them
"It was good Jesse, thanks for asking." 
"It's gonna be a pretty busy tonight, are you sure you can handle all the dishes yourself?"
"If I need help I'll ask Deri." 

Erin left school and decided to head to the library to see if they had any LGBT+ books. In his haste to research for his own book he almost forgot that this wasn't Jaycen, he had no idea where the library is. Erin sighed and pulled out his phone, searching the location of the library.
  Once he reached his destination he went through the doors of the large building. Rows upon rows of tall shelves filled the room, a few tables were scattered around and a couch area was on the far wall. There was a young woman sitting at the front desk, maybe late twenties, early thirties, her name tag said Kara.
The librarian glances up and smiles, she seemingly ignores the comment on her name.
"Is there anything I can help you with young man."
"My name is Erin and I'm looking for some books"
"Hi Erin, If you want to search the inventory go to the computers on the far right, it'll tell you where any book is."
Erin looked to where to woman was pointing and saw a few computers set up. 
"What about the computers on the left?"
"Those are for work and research, or kids playing games. You'll need a library card. Do you have a library card?"
"oh..uh..no" Erin admitted.
The lady sighs before speaking. "I'll set you up now."
"I'm really sorry, I completely forgot, I just moved to town about three days ago."
"It's alright Hon, plenty of people forget their cards weekly."
She slides a paper across the desk towards Erin. He fills it out and provides his driver's license as I.D. Once it's all set up and Erin has his picture taken for the card, Erin is told to wait for the card to be done. He went over to the computers on the right and scrolled through all the categories until he saw the one he was looking for. He clicked the LGBT+ label and scrolled through all the titles. He copied a few titles and the location of the books onto his phone notepad before closing it and searching the shelves.

 Erin sat reading the books for inspiration. He didn't realize how long he sat there until the librarian shook his shoulder and offered him a water bottle. 
"You've been sitting here for an hour and a half. I suggest you take a drink and put that book that you finished back if you're not checking it out, you could use with a leg stretch."
"Oh, thank you so much. I hadn't even realized."
"That's alright hon, I make sure all of our patrons don't read for too long without small breaks. I like to make sure everyone is taken care of here. I know all the regulars by name, which ones may need a snack as they read or care packages to take home. I have fidget toys for people who need them to focus. If you need anything at all, you come to me. If there is a book not on my shelf that you want, you come to me." 
"That is so kind, the librarian in Jaycen only noticed you if you had a book late or if you were too loud in the library. I think I will take a break, call my dad. I'll definitely become a new regular."
"I look forward to seeing your face more often"
Kara left Erin at his table and Erin stood to his feet, almost falling as he realized exactly how numb his lower limbs had become. Erin shook his legs until he gained feeling again. He made his way outside to call his father. He pulled his phone and called his father
"How is the library?"
"It's good, the librarian is really nice."
"That she is, just be home in about thirty minutes. Dinner is soon."
"Ok, dad."
"See you soon Callie."
Nathan hung up before Erin could protest. Erin cursed his father and shoved his phone in his pocket. One day, Erin thought to himself, one day he'll call me by my name. Erin went back inside to his table and collected his books, he put the finished one back on the shelf and went to the counter. 
"Is my card done?"
"Yes it is Erin," She hands a small plastic card over to him. 
"Can I check these out?"
"Yes you can, our book limit is ten, our movie limit is five."
"I might grab some more books then."
Kara chuckles and Erin heads over to scan the shelves for some books to read for fun. He picks out a couple of his favorites. Mostly Poppy Densley books, Two girls and a story was the first of her books that he ever found. It's a story of a christian girl realizing she's a lesbian and falling in love with her classmate, it was about religion and sexuality. His favorite book was, Joshua and Anna, it was the book that made him realize his gender identity. Erin had always felt wrong as a girl but he didn't know why until he read that book about a trans woman figuring out who she is. It went into detail about her gender dysphoria and it led Erin to do more research, and eventually coming out. 
     Erin carried the books to the counter and set them down. The librarian smiled up at the teen and started scanning his books.
"A big fan of Poppy Densley are you?"
"Of course, she is a wonderful writer, not only are the plot lines amazing she gives representation to people who typically don't. It's this book here-" he holds up the book- "Helped me realize who I was."
"Ah, yes that book. Did you know it was based off of her wife, Annabel."
"Yeah, Her wife is such a sweet person. She writes music and things for YouTube and draws all the cover art for Poppy's books."
Kara smiles at the young boy and flips to the back of the book, where a picture of the author and her wife sits on the page. The same person sat in front of Erin, behind the desk.
"I freaking knew it, I knew it was you as soon as I saw you. I wasn't going to bombard you though, I respect your personal space." Erin exclaims as Kara laughs.
"Thank you for that, I also thank you for what you said about my books. It's stories like yours that are the reason I wrote those stories. The reason I fought so hard for them to be published, it took me five years to finally get them onto shelves. My wife was only my girlfriend when Joshua and Anna was written, but she gave me  permission to write it. She proposed at the book signing when I announced it."
Erin smiled as Kara handed Erin his stack of books.
"Have these back in about a month, you can renew them and extend the time within a week of deadline."
"Thank you so much, but may I ask why you're working here a library in New Rye?"
"I grew up near here, My father's bookstore was right down the street. Sadly by the time my books started earning me money it was too late to save the store from bankruptcy. My father is the reason I chose Poppy as my pen name, it was his favorite flower." 
Erin gave her a sad smile and left the library after putting his books in his backpack. Erin started his walk home, extremely happy with how his day had gone, despite the blatant misgendering from kara. Erin was smiling and bopping his head to the music as he walked the streets.