The Mirror

This is a prologue to an anime-styled narrative that I spend my evenings and nights writing. I would really appreciate any review you might leave, and I hope you enjoy.

Prologue

Even though it was the middle of the night, with a few normal units still left in the building, the whole of the special operations force was wide awake in the police headquarters. Suddenly, the eerily silent building resonated with the horrible sound of a screeching alarm.

“Is it the Mirror?” a voice laced with sheer hatred and dripping with disgust spoke out through the darkness.

The trembling young IT boy replied quickly “Yes, Mr. Ayato, sir!”

“What are we waiting for then!? All units, move out!” the boss ordered.

A young man from the back of the room shot out of his seat “But sir, then Unit 2 will be left with no defense!”

“Do you think I care? Tell the “whities” to get into defensive positions. With the help of the turrets they should be able to stop the enemy infantry. If an X shows up… I should be able to handle them.”

 Haren Ayato, the Special Operations Officer, had been hunting the infamous “Mirror” for the last six months, with no results, and after ten months Command would send in a Supreme. Leaving Haren and his team as the Special Operations Team that managed to get an X plus, but was unable to get rid of him. If they did capture him, they’d be able to advance to the level of Supreme Task Force, or at least they’d be respected throughout the whole country.

“What gear allowance, sir?” One of the Task Force’s three elite fighters questioned.

The Chief Officer didn’t need much time to decide. “Officers Jeaito, Keren, and Yanna, gear allowance level five plus. Everyone else: level four. Move out, everyone! Elites, to me for a second.”

“What’s the matter, sir?” Keren asked.

“I’m sure you understand the rules that come with using five plus gear. In case of defeat or major injury, you do not retreat or run. You set the equipment to self-destruct and get it as close to the enemy as you possible can. We cannot allow it to get into enemy hands. The only way you survive this is by the victory of your team or the order to retreat, that is if you are not injured. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir!” The operatives shouted in unison.

“So, go! And get this freak, once and for all!” The three operatives saluted, and ran off.

Behind the office window, a dark hooded figure jumped back onto the roof. His mask reflecting the city lights.

“Well, well…” the Mirror whispered under his breath, “Let the show begin!” The mysterious figure ripped off their hood, revealing dark blue hair as he put on a pair of blood red headphones, tightened them, and pulled hood back on. With a gentle movement of the head, the last track played was activated: Beethoven’s Vth symphony. Memories flooded his mind as the music washed over him. After a while, once the memories had subsided, he pulled out two twin knives from a small black sheath on his lower back and began making his way to the location of his "performance", silently humming to the music on his headphones and mysteriously smiling under his mask along the way.

Author's Note

English not being my first language, I might have left in some grammar mistakes. Please ignore them. Also, keep in mind that this is but a prologue.

Reviews

[Yui Tarsis]

I find this to be extremely interesting at this point. I would rate higher, but there were a few major holes that I didn't quite understand. But, this is the Prolouge so I can understand some holes in the lore this early on. I think you should keep going! It sounds interesting so far!

[Adamantheus]

Thanks for the review! It's really appreciated! I left some "holes" in this part of the story in hope of causing the reader to want to understand what's going on through reading the rest of the story. Could you specify the problems you meant? I would appreciate knowing if it's just the things I wanted to keep secret or if I messed up somewhere.

[Yui Tarsis]

I'm pretty sure it would be things you would keep secretive, but mostly about when this is all happening and why the "Mirror" is being wanted. Also a bit on the "levels" of the gear.

[C.C. Griffin]

So, I definitely think you set up a good basis for intrigue. It sparked my interest and left me curious enough to continue on through the story. Makes me want to know who or what this "Mirror" is. I like how you have delineated the levels of weaponry depending on the unit and the situation.

I think for me, personally, I only have two bits of critique I would put forth.
1) The use of the word "Suddenly." I feel like if the word "suddenly" is used then it no longer feels quite so sudden. I would rather see a description that conveyed the unexpected and surprise rather than just saying "suddenly."
2) The second paragraph starting with "Is it the Mirror?" seems a bit loaded down to me. It could just be the wording, although breaking it up might work. Something like " "Is it the Mirror?" The voice spoke, hatred and disgust lacing the words.

Just my thoughts! Keep up the good work. :)

[Adamantheus]

Thank you! I really appreciate it. As I am still unsure of my skill because I just started writing, I really want to improve, so thank you for helping me with doing so.