Receiving Dandelions

A sequel to 'Picking Dandelions', the brother's response.

Auntie moaned again about the washing in the sink, 

and I want to smash the dishes on the floor.

I nearly cried in maths class, and lunch time went too fast,

and now there’s a knock upon my door.

My sister, face like mine, teetering on the edge of crying 

but smaller, wider, cuter, rounder, paler.

She smiles a watery smile that I see through from half a mile.

And offers dying flowers, like they’ll save Her.

 

She hasn’t seen you see,

The sorrow and the fear that I have lived with this long-drawn out year.

She’s been kept safe, secure.

So her heart will stay pure.

She’s been here, but she’s not been Here.

To hold, wilting in her fist

Some dandelions, makes me wish

I could live as safe as her.

Where a pale limp weed, is exactly what Mum needs

To overcome the dreaded cancer.

I wish that magic still worked, and maybe I’m a jerk, for spurning my little sister’s gift

There is something in her thought, and maybe something of the sort, will give Mum a little lift

They may be weeds to me, but to my sister they can be

Magic, hope and good wishes.

I’ll apologise right now, hug, make up somehow.

And then I’ll go and clean up all the dishes.

Reviews

[Alicia Beavis]

I like this piece. The way you tied the opening and the end really gave it a sense of completeness which I liked.

And haha! the 'z' and 's' thing drives me nuts! Every time I see a word that has a 'z' where I feel an 's' should be, I want to go correct the spelling. And mum has a 'u'! lol

[Laura Maidah]

If it's a title, like "Auntie" maybe nix the "my". That's like writing "my sissy" for sister". It funks up the meter and halts pacing. Are you in England? Drives me nuts. Spelling is so... weird. ApologiZE. Z. ZZZZZZZ. Like tantalizing. ZZZZ. lol.

[Adam, the Grub Street Lodger]

I'm English, and the Z's drive me mad. (And they are called 'zeds' not 'zees').

[Laura Maidah]

Your seds drive me nuts. It's phonetically just WRONG.

[Adam, the Grub Street Lodger]

Who claimed the English language has sane phonemes? (Case in point).
Those zeds just look ugly and unsophisticamacated.

[TheMostSplendiferous]

I read "Picking Dandelions" before this, and I was glad to see you included the brother's point of view. I thought you did an excellent job of portraying how emotional stress can make you do and say things you regret and how it makes you envy little kids who are too young to fully comprehend what is happening. Anyway, great use of emotions!