Foresee!

Foresee beyond infinity and gloom

Hope and work for a rose upon the moon

Author's Note

Hope! :)

Reviews

[Tarry Franck]

Lovely :)

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

glad you found it so :)

[eglantine]

I like the image of a rose on the moon, but the second line sounds odd.

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

How comes?

[eglantine]

hope and work just sound strange together in that line. It blots out that beautiful image of a rose on the moon--I'm sure there is a more powerful way to bring out that image.

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

A rose upon a moon simulates something impossible or nearly so... i guess that clear things

[eglantine]

no, I totally understood that bit

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

Its pointless to work without hope, or hope without work!
I'd like if you make it clearer!!

[eglantine]

wait, what? now I am confused as to what you are trying to ask lol

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

you said that the second line is odd, i am simply asking you to share your insight

The idea of the second line, is working along hoping to reach the unreachable, because you can't work without hope, and its pointless to hope without work... the line simply draws a bridge between a realistic phrase "hope and work" and a fantastic phrase " A rose upon the moon" because that's life... a little fantasy with little reality :)

[eglantine]

ok, right, and like I said, it blots out the image. In my opinion, that line has far greater potential. Hope and Work are vague words--they contain so much, potential for cliche even. I'd drop those words and insert an action representing hope/work... or keep one and describe the other. In the end, it's always the poet's poem so do what you think is best with it. Just my opinion.

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

I see your point and i respect it, but in my view i wanted them to have unlimited potential regardless, a poet shouldnt always drew his mind, he should sometimes leave a blatant slit for the reader without linking himher to my view

Still, I see your view
thank you for your opinion and fruitful conversation, I highly appreciate it :)

[MOON]

Beautiful write succinct.

[BryanaBear]

Short but sweet, love it!

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

Thoughtfully written! Perhaps that which seems impossible is not truly so. Long live hope!

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

Thank you!
Long live hope!