The One

Love, what a nasty b****

The sun’s light crawls through curtains,
My eyes fall upon your flesh.
No question now I’m certain,
by your smile my soul’s refreshed.
Our minds transformed from slumber,
when we touch it does the rest.
My hands begin to wander,
from soft lips to supple breasts.
Tangled in this web of lust,
signified by heavy breaths.
Deeper still with every thrust,
exploding with all that’s left.

Reviews

[Fatum]

wooo this ones hot... Flesh... I feel this word is out of place considering the sexual nature of this poem, I know you are trying to keep a rhyme scheme going on but I feel this word takes away form the romance and adds too much... Lust into it, I feel you're trying to balance the sexual feel, but the word flesh just adds a horror feel to it..


Great compact poem, remember,

Slant rhymes can hold much more power then perfect time sometimes,

Balancing between perfect and slant can make your work have a stronger flow

thanks for sharing