Cat Tales #2 (Oh, The Games We Play)

Originally posted 8/07.

 

Entry #2

 

August 12^th, 2007 A.D.C.

 

Spent the night roaming the apartment seeing what I could get into. I like to see Two Legs frustrated in the morning. One of my favorite tricks to play on him, until he got wise, was with the white, soft stuff I’ve seen him scratching his butt with. I believe it’s called toilet paper but I’m still not sure what a toilet is and why you would need paper. Anyway. Two Legs eventually figured out that he had to put it somewhere I can’t get to. I don’t mind not being able to reach it, though. Some days it feels like I’m training him.

 

Since the white, soft stuff has been dealt with by Two Legs, I decided to find other games to play. One of my favorite games I call “Catch the Movement Under the Sheet.” Alo likes it, too. Two Legs? Not so much. Must be a cat thing. One time, Two Legs got so mad at me that he kicked me out of the room in the middle of the night. How was I supposed to know that human testicles aren’t toys? At least I had my claws in when I was playing. Two Legs should be thankful.

 

(Poster’s Note: I am thankful for the lack of claws that night)

 

This morning, I was chasing Two Legs’ toes. I like to pounce on his foot and nibble some. Sure, I’ll try to clean them first with a few licks but once the feathers have been removed, so to speak, we’re ready to cook. Today was no different. There they were, wiggling away, just enticing me to play. So I jumped on Two Legs’ foot and bit down. Not hard, mind you; just a little love bite. He yelled at me, told me to get off the bed and tried to swat at me with his foot. Of course this became a new game as I tried to evade and attack his foot at the same time. Silly human.

 

I will say, though, that my all-time favorite game to play is leaving the pile of vomit by the foot of the bed. He’s still half asleep and squish, right between the toes. Alo gets a good laugh out of it. He said it’s a classic trick to play on humans, one that he partook in several times himself.

 

I’ve tried playing with other things, like those stupid mice that Alo and I know are clearly not the real deal. First of all, the only way to get the damn thing to move is to move it myself. Um, hello? Am I really supposed to believe that not only do mice smell like catnip (which we’ll get to shortly, by the way) but they have plastic eyes, too? Do I look stupid? All I ask is you think before you answer that.

 

We were also given these bouncy balls that, while scoot along nicely on the hardwood floor, seem rather pointless. I mean, Two Legs will pick up the ball, wave it in my face (when he already has my attention), then throw it. So I go after it, right? I bat at it a couple times, it bounces a couple more times, and eventually comes to a stop. Now what? He better not think I’m just going to bring it right back to him so he can throw it again. I brought the ball back to him once, only for him to just throw it across the room again. It’s like the feline version of the card game 52 Pickup. You only have to play once to know when your whiskers are being pulled.

 

I mentioned catnip earlier but don’t think I can get into it now. It requires its own entry and I hear Two Legs waking up and walking around. Let’s see if I can run in front of his half-asleep walking pattern, make him bump into a wall. That’s always fun. Tune in next time when I talk about the greatest thing known to feline-kind: catnip.

 

I leave you with a quote from the great Mark Twain: “Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”

Reviews

[K. Aurora]

He He! Cat's seem to make wonderful creatures to keep the two legs on his toes. Almost like a ballet, "The cat and the two legs" The musical score would be cats meowing in the back gound! :)

I think that morning vomit in the sheets is worse though, rolling over and ick! I think it was my cats way of telling me it was time to do the laundry!

I think that every cat has a different agenda, I had one once that would fetch the bouncing ball and bring it back to me ten or twenty times before she finally found a place to sleep!

Another cute tale!