A Cold Embrace

The bitter Cold does bite,

her smile made of ice.

The blinding white of her eyes,

leaves you stumbling in the night.

 

Her fingers stab the air,

Your heart stops in an icy glare.

A traveler caught in a delicate grasp,

Releasing last words as a final rasp.

 

The twisted Cold does hold,

her hands made of wool,

A cold embrace within her house

leaves you stumbling, no longer bold.

 

Her limbs reach the sky,

Your last thoughts become wry.

A traveler caught in a gentle embrace,

Shivers in the colds unique lace.

 

Author's Note

One of my first poems, sorry if it is weird, any suggestions and corrections are always welcome.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This is an interesting poem. The message was clear and bold, and it pretty much hit it all home. Corrections: careful with repetitions. Every word has to count; step forward, sing, and then get out (unless its repetition adds an extra punch and amplifies the poem as a whole). "ice" and "icy" are a good example of an unnecessary repetition. We already get that it's cold by the first "ice", we don't need it again (at least not in the form of "ice" or relative). Better to find another word for it. Other than that, this is bold and powerful. Well done!

[Jeremy]

I thought this was a really solid poem and gives a good characterization of the cold. The line that stood out the most to me was "her hands made of wool," Was this mean to symbolize the strange warmth that comes with hypothermia? If that was the case, really excellent idea. This shows a lot of promise; I look forward to reading more.

[K. S. Cook]

Thank you very much. It does symbolize that flash of heat after the extreme cold. I've accidentally experienced it two or three times while SCUBA diving

[Shayan]

Great first poem! I like how you personify the Cold by capitalizing the 'C.'
keep writing! :)

[K. S. Cook]

Thank you!

[Nebula]

Very beautiful
nice work

[K. S. Cook]

Thank you, I love your work as well. So much expressed in so few words.

[Nebula]

Tank you very much