Night Terrors

The fear penetrates my sanity;

it takes my thoughts captive. 

You'd think it was a nightmare...

But nothing jumps from underneath my bed.

Nothing pops out of my closet.

More like naive-mares.

The night terrors don't leave me.

They are called upon by the moon,

Urged onward by my inevitable

entrance into the world of sleep.

Sleep terrors.

Ironic.

I can't sleep.

I've become an Insomniac,

part of some dark abyss of fear.

Author's Note

Please review and critique harshly!

Reviews

[dukovan]

I like the idea of naive-mares. It's like we're more scared of what we don't know. Well put, gets a little redundant towards the end. Is suggest rewriting this, or at least explore this idea further, perhaps some more imagery or simile's. I did enjoy this though.

[Lena Rossmore]

thank you for the feedback! i'll definitely try to rework the ending :)

[Renée]

You nailed this one ! Night terrors uff how they haunt when they come...

[Aeternal Oceanfire]

I am going to have to agree with dukovan. The concept is an interesting one, and further embellishment upon it would make it grand.

[h d e rushin]

the last stanza is special...good work, hder.

[Lena Rossmore]

thank you very much!

[Priscilla Sayers]

Very well expressed. I know the feeling and have sadly passed this feeling along to my two sons which regrettably is a genetic disorder. The anxiety riddled soul has no reprieve. Especially when we can not sleep:(

[Lena Rossmore]

thank you! and i'm sorry to hear that!

[olla]

"I've become an Insomniac,
part of some dark abyss of fear."

well done..

[Chloe]

This is amazing! I always enjoy reading your writes even though I'm not a horror fan...

[Lena Rossmore]

thank you so much :)

[Whales]

"I HATE THIS." shouted the harsh critique. As I punched him in the face, I said that this is whale.

[Lena Rossmore]

ahah thank you

[FantasyLover24601]

Naive-mares is a very interesting way of putting things. Although, after seeing the White Walkers in the very first episode of the Game of Thrones series, I have had a few nightmares about them already, even though I know they are not real. Still, certain directors and writers can find a way to make even the most fictional things into something terrifying, if they are exceptional at it.

[MOON]

Good write naive mares just perfect to describe the feeling.

[Lena Rossmore]

thank you !