Loving Capacity

A silver thread in the dark

After being with you I could see
How easily i could let myself be abused
As if there were a masochist living inside me,
But it was only my loving capacity

And whilst my head spun,
You beckoned and welcomed,
Invited me into the night,
Watched my thread come undone,
And for a time it felt wholesome...

What magic drew me to you?
Was it tales of a place I never knew?
Could it have been green eyes that never seemed blue?
Was it something in me that wanted a dream to come true?
You were leaving, this much I knew

So we danced in the limelight of romance
Goading and taunting, teasing and smiling
Gambling with an encounter of chance
How far could it go? How long could it last?

And as we traversed the depths,
More and more perverse became your Intentions,
But committed to an end,
I watched you writhe, trying to maintain the lie
I asked myself why, but played along with every alibi

To me, I explored my heart alone in the dark
Probed and prodded, relived the pains I had forgotten,
Observed new found weaknesses but also how strong I had gotten

You see,
I was never so underhanded as to ransom love,
Never conniving with trust not driven by lust,
You insulted my intelligence in the name of experience
By not being honest, in such a short tryst
But
who honestly expected us to be at all exclusive? I suppose I did.

But it never hurts to be reminded,
That you have a beautiful love deep inside
With the ability to satisfy
Tender with an open mind,
Warm, soft spoken, and kind
Be someone who can still become excited

Like fingers to my arteries,
You were there to hear the pulse of a hidden part of me
And I served to soften your harsh reality
I loved you, and you saddened me
You helped me release those deep and dormant feelings.

And I surrendered them happily;
So when you leave, Ill be turning over a new leaf,
My loving capacity,
Measured and confirmed,
By you who got the best of me.

Author's Note

Image: light_at_the_endpopular_by_kimeajam-d5hz6qs