Amlan/Marcus: Vampire Thornberry

Affable pals from the American Homeland agree to a vacation-time castle keep while the owner (the Count) is away and discover a stranger jar.

Vampire yarn. Happy weekend, all 

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AMLAN: Now, we journey to Romania for some vampire immortality image?

MARCUS: We're pals from Princeton with a good eye now for scholarship, ok.

AMLAN: This castle-keep invitation for some retreat for a Count is sharp?

MARCUS: We merely watch the property while the owner's away...wine lots.

AMLAN: There's all these vampire texts inside the Count's castle, eh?

MARCUS: Transylvania's rich; we're lucky retreat-employees (Facebook-like).

AMLAN: Fair for fare (Selfie-like).

When our two protagonist pals from Princeton got to their Romanian area for keep for paid service offered by the Count, who owned the castle, they thought all was 'fair-for-fare' for keep during vacation and spent hours their first week reading rich texts of local (Transylvanian) lore about blood-immortals legends/superstitions/maps. However, they soon discovered they were not alone, for a lady was inhabiting the basement of the castle...and she claimed (to them!) she had been always an (actual) vampire (damn).

CASTLE-LADY: Won't you find my zesty stew right, heroes?
AMLAN/MARCUS: What do you want now (with us)?

CASTLE-LADY: Will you not read my (own) journal-notes...for some fiction-IQ?

AMLAN/MARCUS: You wish for us to write your 'record' for Transylvania, miss?

CASTLE-LADY: A hiding/veiled vampire-woman is simply a stew-maker for IQ?

AMLAN/MARCUS: If we read your story and write it (for others), we're safe?

CASTLE-LADY: Won't you think this stew (I've made) is image for jitters?

AMLAN/MARCUS: Facebook-like?

"Doing well is the result of doing good" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)